Happy Christmas!

It’s that time of year again, time for my Christmas blog post tradition (ok so I have only done it once before but that still counts as tradition!) Just like last year, nothing says Christmas like a badly drawn on Christmas hat on an old pic!

So I hope you all have a happy and kink filled Christmas and new year, I sure as hell plan to! :)

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JD x x

Sub Drop

Let’s start with what exactly is sub drop and to say from the start that im no expert!

Well I’m sure different people call it different things but I like ‘sub drop’ and as it’s my blog that’s what we will be calling on here,So :P. I’m even more sure that people feel this in different ways, so the way I describe it may well be very different to how someone else feels but this is my thoughts on it and as im still trying to work it all out its a little brief.

It’s a hard thing for me to understand and therfore its a hard thing for me to explain and difficult to put into words ( which I find frustrating because I always want to understand) Put as simly as possible, the way I see it  sub drop is basically the low after the high and the buzz I get from play. I find that this low can kick in anytime after the play is finished, ranging from a few hours up to even a few days. To complicate things further this drop can come at largely varying intensities.

Now I should point out than this doesn’t happen every time and actually it’s a very rare thing with me, I could probably count the times I have felt it to a large extent on one hand. I’m not sure exactly why it happens sometimes but not others but I have always assumed it’s a combination of what I am doing and who I am doing it with. Until recently I had only ever experience it with people I had known well but the other week I really had a bad case of sub drop after meeting someone for the first time. This came as a real shock, like a knock out blow from nowhere, first of all I thought it was just a little hangover but unfortuately not, this was full blown sub drop and I really didnt enjoy it!

The fact that that this happened after meeting someone I barely know really did confuse me. I havnt felt like that after a first meet before, but I am putting it down to the fact that what we were doing was a huge amount of fun, was quite intense and I loved every minute of it. So this has really strenghtened by believe that this feeling of sub drop really is down to a combination of what your doing and who your doing it with.

The sciency bit makes perfect sense to me because when playing the feelings and emotions I go through can become quite intense (one of the reasons I like it so much) You can have a massive range from pain to pleasure, excitement to nerves, reluctancy to huge enthusiasm. During all of this the adrenaline and the endorphins are working on over time which all contributes to the massive buzz and feel good factor I experience after and during play. But it’s true what they say:

What comes up must come down!

So after this has all worn off you get the low after the high, and trust me it can feel horrible.

I have also been reliably informed this feeling is not just selective to submissives, Dommes also can suffer from this feeling after a session or after play and I would assume its very similar in the fact that the more they know the sub then the majority of the time the worse the feeling. So if a Domme says shes not suffering or hasnt suffered from the same thing you might suffer bare in mind she might not being fully open with you ;)

 

So in summary, play = good, sub drop less so! :)

 

JD x x

Interview with Miss Jessica Wood

I did say that I wanted to make these interview posts a regular thing and with that in mind im very happy to be able to post my third interview blog post with Miss Jessica Wood. I was lucky enough to meet Miss Jessica Wood not too long ago when filming at The English Mansion and very quickly found out just what a kind and friendly person she is (mixed in with that sadistic streak that we love of course). I have to say, first thing that stuck me when meeting her was her laugh, and im sure if you have met her before you will know what I mean! The second thing that stuck me when meeting Miss Jessica Wood were her eyes, she has the most wonderful blue eyes which truly are stunning, brings out all sorts of subby feelings in me :)

Also I have to say being able to watch her do a face sitting scene is something im not going to forget for a long long time, she looked incredible and really did open my eyes to a new fetish I’m only just starting to explore.

There I go getting distracted and letting my mind wonder again….. Anyway, back to this post!

I really enjoyed doing this interview and really appreciated the advice and time I received from Jessica throughout. I hope its not too long before im able to meet again.

That just leaves me to say a great big thank you to Miss Jessica Wood for doing this with me and as always, hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed doing it.

 

  • How did you first get into the world of kink, is it something that was always an interest?

I was doing glamour and fetish modelling and this website called Strict Ladies [specialising in corporal punishment] contacted me to do a shoot for them. I had done loads of different types of shoots prior to that, like bondage, latex fetish, WAM, etc, so I thought it sounded interesting and I’d give it a go. So I went up there and it was brilliant. They thought I was a natural at it, I had really good aim and that I had a presence that came across well. That was just spanking people so I started doing a few shoots for them. At the same time Nikki Whiplash had started some websites of her own, specialising in Femdom wrestling, face sitting and ball busting and she asked me if I wanted to work for her, so again I thought I’d give it a go, and again, I loved it all. I then started going to clubs like TG, Club Rub and Pedestal, as the whole scene interested me as well. The best event I’ve been to was Wastelands in Amsterdam, that was something else!

So how long were you doing the website filming before the first session?

I did shoots for people for a couple of years and was doing double sessions with Nikki of face sitting and ball busting, but then someone asked me if I would do a solo CP session for them and it all snowballed from there. So about 2 years from first filming to a solo session.

You have known Nikki for a long time now haven’t you, from before the kink?

I’ve known Nikki since 1999. We did lots of glamour modelling together and then I went travelling to Australia for a year and when I came back Nikki had got into the wrestling, face sitting and ball busting and as mentioned above, so I continued to work with her. We have also done loads of sessions and videos together and gone out lots socially too. She is awesome!

 

  • So did you ever think you would be a Pro Domme?

I think when I first started doing filming for the websites, I was just happy to be doing the shoots and I didn’t really think about doing it anymore than that. Then the more I did it, the more confident I got with doing things and learning about how everything works. I also realised how much people loved being on the receiving end as well and how much I loved doing it. When that person asked me to do the solo session I thought I’d give it a go and like I said it snowballed from there. So it was a build up over time rather than an instant ‘this is what I’m going to do’.

What is your favourite thing about being a pro Domme?

Well I’m really naturally dominant and bossy by nature and love telling people what to do so that is a brilliant part of it! I also love wearing all my outfits and that definitely comes into it, I especially love all my corsets, silk blouses and pencil skirts and heels. Getting to wear them all the time is great. I also really love caning, well I wouldn’t do anything I don’t like but caning I really do love. I like getting the marks all in a straight line, I have got a bit of a thing about that!

 

  • What was your worst/best previous job before being a Domme?

I haven’t really had any really hideous ones. When I was 16 I worked in a Burger King but I really enjoyed it at the time, lots of free food and people my own age so I was quite happy about that back then. Obviously I wouldn’t want to do it now! Other jobs I’ve done have been office type jobs, some have been great but nothing super amazing. So this job is definitely the best and also the one I have done the longest in my life.

That’s a good thing to be able to say, doubt everyone could say the same.

Yes indeed! This is the best, apart from all the annoying timewasters.

Is that almost just part and parcel of the job?

Yes, I get so many people emailing me that don’t use correct English, they don’t know what they want and are not even in the UK. I just say to get in touch when you’re in the UK and able to see me. Luckily because I ask for a deposit I don’t get too many people not showing up. Prior to requesting a deposit, I initially had more no shows. That didn’t last long before I thought right this needs to change and I started the deposit payment. However, you even get some people that won’t send a deposit for whatever reason so they just don’t get to see me, I have heard it all before.

Do you think you get better at spotting the time wasters earlier?

Oh definitely. Now I’m really quite vicious with them! If you’re serious you’ll write a proper email. The ones I suspect don’t live in the UK I will ask when they are coming to the UK and don’t bother answering any of their questions. I’m now 99.9% of the time right, with time comes experience.

 

  • How can a submissive contact you to arrange a session?

Via my website, I have a contact form with various details to fill in with drop down boxes to make it as easy as possible. I just want to know clearly what people want in a session and if I would be up for it or not. If people have filled in everything correctly then I will get back to them, but if people only fill in half the form and don’t make an effort and are very vague then I won’t bother replying. I only want to see people with some intelligence that are capable of putting together an email at the very least.

Just takes a little bit of effort from the start

Exactly, and to know what you want basically, not just saying ‘I want to be punished Mistress’. So I say, I’m going to start off with 10 hard kicks to the balls?! Some people just don’t have a clue. I’m just trying to get them to think what they want really, because if you don’t know what you want then how are you going to have a good session? If you turn up just “wanting to be dominated” it could go horribly wrong…. haha.

Do you get the subs that say I have no limits and you can do anything you want with me?

Yeah you get those but 9 times out of 10 they can hardly take anything. I have had so many people say they want a hard caning or hard ball busting and you just do one light kick or paddle and they are shouting, I think to myself, “Seriously? You said you were into hard stuff?” It just makes me laugh because I think who have they seen before to think that they are into hard CP. I have been told before that I do hit very hard though.

As a side note, you have to become very confident with an implement before you can hit very hard, caning was the one that took the longest to master because you really can’t go hard with that until you’re accurate, so over time and from doing lots of sessions it allows you to be harder and harder. Now I love that as mentioned before.

 

  • What can a client expect from their first visit to see you?

I usually have a sit down with them for 10 minutes or so, unless they want to go straight into session that is. Everything would have already been discussed by email because I like to have everything written down so it’s clear and it’s like a contract between people. Some people want to speak to me on the phone prior to a session but I never agree to it because I don’t want someone to turn round and say that I said something on the phone that I didn’t. With email, it’s always recorded so we both know what we are doing in session and what has been agreed. My little chat before is generally to help people to calms their nerves. I have had people who are visibly shaking before! So I talk to them to calm them down and maybe talk about something random, non fetishy. I would then ask if there was anything else they hadn’t mentioned or that they want to mention or any worries or questions and then we go into session. The sessions itself is always what somebody wants, I never surprise people or do something out of their limits. I am a really good judge of character with people’s limits so I can tell how far to push people and whether they can take anything else or not. This has also come about from my years of experience. If someone is doing multiple punishments then I will switch from one thing to another to give that area a bit of a break, e.g. switch from ball busting to some CP then on to something else. I like things to be nicely evened out. Plus you have to make people last as well!

Some people email me with really outlandish expectations for a first visit, like when they have never had a session before and they want a 2hr hard corporal punishment session. I will say to these people you only need to do an hour to start with as you don’t even know if you like it. I have cut down loads of sessions before. Most people I see for the first time I say let’s just do an hour and see if we get on and test limits etc. I don’t want someone to be in session for 3 hours if they are hating every minute, so I think it’s best to have an hour as a taster, see what you think and then come back and build on that experience. People may find it bizarre I want to shorten their initial sessions, but it’s not about the money to me; I want people to have the best experience they can have.

I’m also quite picky with the people that I see and I will never be one of those Dommes that just does whatever she likes. I always make sure people get what they want. If they’re happy then I’m happy, it’s a customer relationship business after all in some bizarre fashion… haha!

 

  • Other that real time how can a submissive serve you? Do you do anything other than real time?

Not usually and that’s just because I’m so busy but I have been considering doing webcam domination and phone domination. Generally though I prefer having people with me in the room, I think there is more point to it then, but appreciate people may not always be able to see me in person or are very new to the scene, so this is why I have been considering the webcam/phone options. Watch this space!

 

  • Are you looking for a personal sub?

No Pro-Domme ever is really I think.

I’m too busy to have someone hanging around me all the time. It’s like having a pet dog only more annoying! If I was a millionaire and had nothing to do with my time then it might be quite useful then.

But right now the pet dog sounds more appealing?

Yes exactly, they would just go sit in the corner and behave. I have heard of bad experiences from other Dommes how personal slaves are very time consuming and get obsessive. Two things I don’t want.

Plus the dog would probably look cuter

Yes… haha!   

 

  • I know you have a few different websites, how many do you have?

Yes I have a few, I have my original site, Miss Jessica Wood and then my Facesitting Mistress site also. Furthermore, I have my two clip4sale sites. Plus I use Twitter and Pinterest and Twitter social media sites.

www.missjessicawood.co.uk

www.facesittingmistress.co.uk

http://clips4sale.com/11839/

http://clips4sale.com/store/39691/

https://twitter.com/missjessicawood

https://www.pinterest.com/missjessicawood

Do you use Facebook at all?

No they kicked me off four times, three times with a normal profile and one time with just a fan page, so I said screw them and haven’t bothered since. They are very prudish, there wasn’t even anything bad on my profiles. No naked punished men, just me!

 

  • Do you have a favourite piece of equipment/favourite toy?

That’s the cane. I used to always like the more thin whippy canes but now my favourite ones are about 10mm ones. The thin ones make peoples bottoms cut too quickly when you do harder strokes (in my hands anyway!), whereas the thicker ones you can hit harder but not necessarily get any cuts for a little while. It’s also got to be dragon smoked as well, straight handle and lamb skin grip. Canes are also good for balls as well as bottoms don’t you know!

 

  • What is your favourite fetish outfit to wear?

I really love corsets, I have quite a nice collection. I wear them out clubbing lots. I really like my 1950s style underwear with corsets as well. Then I also really like silk blouses. I think they just look and feel so amazing on. They also suit the look that I go for, strict and classy.

 

  • What is your favourite type of play during a session, or favourite activities?

I really like it when people want to do role-play, I find it a bit more fun as long as the people are good at it. If they are silent then it can be a bit of a mission and I end up talking to myself most of the time which isn’t the best. It’s quite fun when people are a bit cheeky as they know they’re going to be in for it then! It can then feel more like a real life scenario rather than just punishing people without the story line behind it.

What would be your favourite type of role-play?

Headmistress or office boss, they are my two favourites.

 

  • What are the best qualities you look for in a sub?

They should have good time keeping, be polite, respectful, intelligent and have a good standard of personal hygiene. If you have all of them then you’re doing well.

 

  • If you could give one piece of advice to a sub what would it be?

In reference to emails, a lot of people will bombard me with emails if I don’t reply straight away and that really irritates me because I will reply when I can. I don’t need another 3 or 4 emails added on top of your original email because I haven’t got back to you in 10 seconds. That puts me off wanting to see people if they do that with me.

So basically have a bit of patience?

Definitely that’s the word for it.

 

  • What are the top 3 mistakes you find a sub makes with you?

Well the email thing definitely!

Arriving early, I really hate that. Usually on a session day I have a lot of people to see and the time in between I have to spend changing into the next outfit, seeing what the next session will be and getting my room ready for it and then I also want a bit of a rest. Just come at the time we arranged. Luckily I have an intercom so I tell anyone that is early to go away and come back on time.

If a sub is not being very reactive. If you don’t make reactions and you’re too quiet then I can’t judge if what I’m doing is good for you or not. If you stay silent then it doesn’t give any indication of if it could be harder or softer and especially if they are someone new, I would like to hear that. It also makes it hard to tell if they are even enjoying themselves.

 

  • How do you prepare for a session or a scene to get into Domme headspace? Do you have to?

I write up all my sessions prior to the day and have them all printed out. When I am getting ready for the session, I would read them through and think of any extra bits and pieces and plan out what I’m going to do, if I need to plan anything. If it’s any kind of role play, I can just go into that character straight away as it’s so natural to me now. I used to have to think about it but I have been doing it for so long now so it’s become second nature.

 

  • I recently got to see you filming a face sitting scene for English Mansion and I have to say I think you have got me hooked! What is it about face sitting in-particular that you enjoy?

I think my bottom was made for it, I didn’t know it was going to come in so useful! I really enjoy using men as my comfortable seat and it can be quite relaxing. I think I have become quite acrobatic in the different positions I use, so it’s also like a little work out in itself which is fun. A lot of the time you’re not fully sitting on someone you see, because a lot of people can’t actually take that. Then generally knowing your bottom is being appreciated is no bad thing!

Is it a power thing as well with the controlling of the breath?

I think my bottom really doesn’t let you breathe so it’s a very good power exchange, definitely. Some girls have smaller bottoms and people can often steal a quick breath but you can’t with me. Also, some people try and sneak a breath by wriggling free, but I have got ways of trapping people between my ankles so they can’t move their heads and stuff like that! If you’re going to do it, you should do it properly. I have had so many people that can’t do it at all. Some want to just be pinned down but not actually sat on but that isn’t face sitting.

They don’t know what their missing!

I know! It’s a bit frustrating when you have someone like that, I just want to sit on somebody properly. Not for them to hold their breath for only 10 seconds. Some people are just ridiculous. You’re not going to pass out after 10 seconds! It really would take a very long time to be actually suffocated.

You want to find some swimmers than like face sitting, they can hold there breathe for ages.

Exactly, I like nice comfortable seats that I don’t have to move off for a long time. One of my favourite positions is sitting back and laying down across their body but they need to be able to stay under me for a while otherwise I’m up and down like a yo-yo!
 

 

  • Who would you most like to work with that you haven’t had the opportunity to do so yet, or who would you love to work with again?

Well Miss Sarah Jessica from Manchester/Scotland is someone I would like to work with. We have chatted on Twitter. I do double Domme shoots for my own member’s website so would quite like to work with her. I have also chatted a bit to Lady Bellatrix but haven’t got round to working with her yet.

In terms of people I have worked with before and would like to again it will always be Nikki Whiplash.

In terms of websites, I love working for The English Mansion, Northern Spanking and Sado Ladies.

 

  • Do you like to use of music in your sessions?

Generally no. The rules to that exception are if I’m travelling and in a hotel or sometimes in face sitting or wrestling sessions where there is no role-play. I like a bit of chill out dance music if so, but if the session is a CP one, then generally never.

        You like the hear the thud

Yeah… haha!

  • Where do you get your inspiration for sessions?

I just come up with them really, things just come to me as I have a vivid imagination! I sometimes like doing games in sessions with cards and things and have invented lots of different games over the years. Having done sessions for years helps as well, it’s important to keep sessions and videos varied. It might start with some outfit ideas or a place of punishment like a school and then it doesn’t take me long to fill the rest in.

 

  • What is your favourite BDSM or Kink website/blog?

Actually I would say Twitter, I really like the way people can interact on Twitter. In places like Fetlife it’s all individual conversations whereas on Twitter multiple people can join in and have a chit chat or make comments etc.

Do you still use Fetlife?

Yes I was on it the other day actually for the first time in ages, but I get a lot of messages from people saying random things and feel there is a lot of time wasting going on. Or I get comments that someone likes a picture but there isn’t the same interaction.

 

  • If you could have one male and one female Celeb to be your sub for the day who would they be?

The male sub would be Michael Hall from Dexter, that would be amazing!

Female would be Danni Minogue, I have always liked her and find her very pretty.

 

  • What are some of you favourite things to do away from BDSM?

Travelling would be the number one thing. I have been to 50 countries so far! Soon to be 51 with Sri Lanka in October. It is one of my missions in life to see as much of the planet that I can, as you only live once of course. I also like going to the gym to do spinning, weights and yoga. I love looking after and hugging my three ragdoll cats. I also like to cycle, as I don’t drive (well I haven’t for about 8 years now) and I love fine dining restaurants and eating out in general, especially Japanese. Oh and the cinema when something good is on. Saw the Inbetweeners 2 last, that was very funny.

Do you enjoy cooking as well?

No, just the eating part! I like food I can leave to cook and come back to and it’s done! I’m too busy to do “proper” cooking.

Breath Play

Where to being on this one, it’s not an easy one as I feel very much like a newbie with this topic.

There was a time not too long ago when I didn’t even realise that breath play was a thing, I didn’t even know it was a fetish or something that people were into but it is safe to say I’m way past that now, I am very much aware of it and how exciting it can be! Breath play can safely be added to my list of fetishes and then some! In a weird way I would call breath play an accidental fetish because it was never something I when out looking for or something I had seen and thought I would love to try but wow I’m glad I discovered

The first time it happened I remember quite clearly as to me it came out of the blue and it was just a relatively soft hand holding my neck. I was left feeling a little surprised after but that initial surprised feeling was quickly replaced with the overwhelming feeling excitement and wanting to try that again, (as is often the case when I experience a new, exciting fetish). That very small introduction was enough to give me that rush and that thrill that is really quite addictive. On the second occasion of trying breath play I knew a little more about what was coming and what to expect and I found almost wanting it to happen I even ended up moving my neck closer into their grip so that the grip was that little bit tighter, but then again people have often accused me of being a greedy sub in the past ;)

Since then I have been able to experience breath play in a few different ways but it’s been more a case of a little bit of each one rather than me being able to say I have a lot of experience in any of them.  I have done a variety of things though, from having my throat being grabbed and pushed against a wall, my throat being grabbed while I’m lying on a bed (in bondage is even more exciting there) and a few different takes on facesitting. You could even link some forms of smoking fetish into this category, which I have also tried but less into. So if we ignore any of the smoking fetish side of things for now, all of these types of breath play and many more that I probably haven’t even thought of are things that I want to experience more of, with my new favourite being facesitting, that’s something i want to really explore a lot more of given the chance. I would be very interested to see how much I could be pushed and what possibilities and scenarios that could lead to.

As with most things in the kink world, once I have tried them and realised I enjoy them there is those questions in the back of my mind

‘what is it about that that I enjoy’.

‘what is it that gives me that rush’.

This is something that is often not an easy thing to answer but I think with breath play it all comes down to control or more accurately the loss of. With the right person and in the right way I love to give up that control and for someone to control something as basic is your own breathing, well it’s a very powerful thing and therefore is a very exciting thing for me. I think that thrill and that rush comes from the apparent ‘danger’ involved (even though it’s not really there when doing this with someone you trust and in a safe way) there is that bit of nerves and fear that for me always adds to the excitement and to the thrill. It’s the thrill, the adrenaline rush, the nerves, the excitement, that’s what I ultimately love about bdsm and that is exactly what breath play does to me.

I really would like to try a lot more of this and mixing breath play with facesitting is something i particularly would like to try. I consider myself to be a real newbie when it comes to breath play but it is something I want to do much more of, how much and how far I’m still unsure on but half the fun is learning what you dislike, what you like and what you love and the experiences along the way.

JD x x

Interview with Miss Sarah Jessica

I am very pleased to be able to say that the next of my new series of interview blog posts is with Miss Sarah Jessica. I have known (in the loosest sense of the word) Miss Sarah Jessica almost since I first really started properly getting into kink about 2 years ago, we had been in similar places at similar times, with the same group of people but for one reason or another our paths never quite crossed. Well I for one am very happy that they now have and we were able to have a few long and very interesting conversations and be able to do this interview. I have to say doing this interview with Miss Sarah Jessica has been a real pleasure and I don’t think i could say enough positive things about her now, other than if you do get the chance to meet her, session with her or just chat with her, don’t past it up!

So that just leaves me to say a great big thank you to Miss Sarah Jessica and that I hope people enjoy the interview.

(For those that don’t know I should add the translation – Aye is Scottish for yes) :P

 

  • How did you first get into the world of kink, is it something that was always an interest?

Kink has always played a big part in my life since around the ages of 8 or 9 when I used to play baddies and goodies where I used to tie my friends up. I was also a big Barbie lover and I used to get ken to do bad things to Barbie and things like that. It was around that time that I started to look at things online as well and that went on for years and the feelings for it started to grow and become deeper. I also remember there was this zip wire where we used to visit my mum and dads caravan in England, I remember I used to sit on the zip wire and make this boy pull me up while I was hitting him with a stick, so I think that was another little clue along the way that I was quite sadistic.

I think that sadistic streak has been there with me for the majority of my life but it wasn’t till I met people that it started to really grow. I met Lady Sophia Black and she started to notice something in me, until then it just never really clicked. It took for somebody to point out that I’m quite sadistic and then I thought actually Aye that kind of makes sense and then it sort of fell into place. I have only been a Mistress for about two and a half years but I’m not new, I have been kinky all my life, it’s always been there. It is really in those last two and a half years though I have felt so much happier and so much more contented, I feel like I’m somewhere where I belong now, I have found me.

  • How did you first get in being a Pro Domme, was it something that you always wanted to try?

It was Sophia, and no it wasn’t something I had thought about it really just fell into place to be honest. I had seen her doing it and I tried it and thought actually I am quite good at this. Also around the same time I started doing stuff with Governess Ely and it all progressed and escalated from there.

Did you do sessions with Ely or Sophia at the start?

I used to do sessions with Ely yes and then that sort of fizzled out. I have done a few with Sophia as well but as she’s in London and I’m in Scotland or Manchester it’s not happened that often, but we plan to do more of them soon.

I can imagine that would be very popular, so watch this space then?

Aye, we work really well together, and with Megara Furie, she is very fun and creative and doesn’t take herself too serious which is always good and that’s a lot like me, I’m a very bubbly person.

  • What is your favourite thing about being a pro Domme?

My favourite thing about being a Pro Domme is the fact that I can be myself. I don’t have to go to work and pretend to be something that I’m not, I’m myself throughout every single day. I also love the people that I meet, the variety and the difference between every individual person. It’s one of those jobs where it’s not predictable, you don’t know what you going to get every single day and that’s something I enjoy. Plus it’s also a lot of fun.

  • What was your worst/best previous job before being a Pro Domme?

I haven’t really had many other jobs. My worse job was probably working in a lawers office doing filing etc. Also when I was about 16 I worked in a chip shop but that only lasted about 5 minutes. They tried to make me wear this hat and I hate hats so I basically said it wasn’t happening and I just walked out.

As good a reason as any to leave your job!

I wasn’t wearing their hat! I wasn’t standing there looking stupid and feeling uncomfortable, so I left!

  • How can a submissive contact you to arrange a session?

There are two ways, either phone call or email. I do prefer quite a detailed email first and then a phone call, I always like to speak to somebody on the phone prior to a session but some people can be a bit embarrassed talking about some things on the phone so might find it easier to say in an email. Once that is all cleared up in an email then they can phone and discuss it briefly which gives me a chance to get a feel for that person before the session. Plus it gives me a chance to see if they are real as well. Deposits are always needed though.

Do you only session with someone once you have had a deposit?

Yeah, I won’t session with anyone new unless they had paid a deposit, it eliminates the time wasters. Although once someone has sessioned with me before then it’s not needed. However, if they are unable to do that and have a good reason, then I will let them buy me a small gift from my amazon wish list. Eliminating the time wasters is important, Mistress’s spend a lot of time preparing for a session so for somebody to just not turn up is a huge waste of time, that energy and focus could be on someone else. As with most Mistress’s I can spot a timewaster almost straight away though and don’t put any effort in those calls, unless I’m bored that day and then I just toy with them a bit!

I’m quite fussy about who I session with, I have no problem guiding or advising a sub to see someone else if I think they are more suited. I like putting everything into a session so if we are not going to click then it would just be crap for both of us. I do it with Megara quite a bit because she is very good at roleplay whereas that is not really my thing, so when I get an email asking for roleplay in Glasgow I just send them on to Megara.

  • What can a client expect from you in their first visit to see you?

I think I can be quite warm and friendly, some people that might be seeing a dominatrix for the first time might expect me to be very strict and harsh but we are not all like that. I try to make them feel as comfortable as I can to begin. I don’t like to rush people out of the door, I like to have a de brief and a coffee afterwards and just a bit of a chat, there is nothing worse than the ‘get your clothes on and out you go’, I hate that and it would make me feel crap as well!

  • Other that real time how can a submissive serve you? Do you do anything other than real time?

Everybody starts in session as it eliminates time wasters and it shows dedication and that they really want it. I have a few subs that get a monthly visit to see me at my house but that only comes after time, I don’t just invite anyone to my house, I need to build up that trust.

I used to do Skype but not so much now and I don’t really do any phone domination because I don’t really have time for that anymore. I don’t really enjoy webcam, I much prefer in the flesh, I can intimidate them more then! I like eye contact, I want the sub to be looking at me in the eyes and then I don’t even have to tell them sometimes, they just know. It’s a powerful thing.

  • Are you looking for a personal sub?

No.

Actually that’s not true, I want a female sub for me and my partner.

Female subs seem to be in shorter supply?

I know, and women are hard work, sometimes I’m glad I don’t have to Domme a girl! I think it’s not very often you come across a girl that would be happy to sub to both me and my partner, they would have to be ok with both.

You mentioned you have a few subs at the moment, would you call them your personal subs?

Yes I have a personal slave who I have known for a few years. We have a good relationship and good trust between us which to me is vital. It is lots of good fun.

  • So what websites do you have and where can subs get in contact with you?

I have my main site which I use:

http://www.misssarahjessica.co.uk/

I also use twitter and to a lesser extent Fetlife, twitter is my favourite because it’s great for socialising.

https://twitter.com/misssarahjessic

https://fetlife.com/users/1051727

I used to use Facebook but I’m getting rid of it now because it is just full of knobs!

Quite literally at times!

  • Do you have a favourite piece of equipment/favourite toy?

I really like wooden paddles they are a lot of fun. Also a gynaecology chair, I love it, you can get right in there and do all sorts when they are in that position.

  • What is your favourite fetish outfit to wear?

I’m really getting into my leather at the moment and I also like my corsets, I pretty much have a corset on 95% of the time. I do like latex but it can sometimes be quite restrictive, especially if it’s a really long session it can sometimes feel like you are coming out of a great big condom afterwards. Haha

  • What is your favourite type of play during a session, or favourite
    activities?

This is a hard one to answer because really I’m into a lot of different things. I really like tease and denial, orgasm denial, CBT and strap on and I do enjoy CP. I’m very into humiliation and I love degradation, I would say that’s one of my main things. Oh and I also love pretty much anything to do with foot fetish.

  • What are the best qualities you look for in a sub? Is that different between a personal sub and one that books a session?

Well if being totally honest a session is much more about them as they are paying for what they want. Whereas with a personal sub it’s really give and take.

So the qualities I look for are self-motivation, they must be trustworthy and have a sense of humour, they have to have a sense of humour there’s nothing worse than a morbid, dull slave who acts like a robot.

I think I know what you mean; you don’t just want someone to say ‘Yes Mistress’ and agree with anything?

Oh they have to agree with me! Haha. Although they need to have initiative, if they see something that needs doing they shouldn’t wait to be told to do it, they should just get on with it to help me and make my life easier.

  • If you could give one piece of advice to a sub what would it be?

If you are going to see a Pro Domme, research them before making any initial contact. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was me then I would want to know everything I could about who I was possibly going to serve. It also shows the sub is keen, interested and enthusiastic. If it’s obvious someone hasn’t done that bit of research then it puts me off sessioning with them.

  • What are the top 3 mistakes you find a sub makes with you?

The first one is asking me if I provide sexual services, which is obviously a no. Also calling me Mistress Jessica, that really annoys me! A third one would be asking me where my website is, if that happens they have failed already.

  • I saw you were in a film that is being released next year, what is the film about and how did that come about?

I have known Phil Howard who is the director of the film for about two and half years and he basically asked me if I’d like to take a role in it. The film is called The Middle Man and is about his life as a middle man and sort of a gangster, it’s really his autobiography. Megara Furie and I will be playing ‘Domme torturers’ so the part is really perfect for us. I remember jokingly saying to him that “we don’t really need a script”. Haha. It’s only a small part but the filming starts next year and the film should be released the end of 2015. Also the book is being released in March. There are a few well known celebs in it so it was an honour to be asked, plus it will possibly give the kink side of things a bit of publicity. The story behind our part is this gangster owns money to a drug dealer and he pays two Domme torturers to come and get the money back for him so not fully kink related but will be a lot of fun, I’m so excited and I can’t wait.

  • I know that you offer cuckold sessions with your partner, if that something that has always been an interest to you? Did you have to persuade your partner to be involved?

No, my partner has about 15 years’ experience in cuckolding and used to do it in in his private life so it was him really that got me into it and it’s something now that I really enjoy. It is a whole different level of humiliation and it is the humiliation part of it which gets me, I really enjoy that aspect of it. What I get from the cuckolding is that the cuckold is not good enough to be with me in that way, I need a real man for that and the cuck is always made aware that he is not good enough and is inadequate in that way.

Is it something that you link with chastity?

Yes, we have our own cuck who actually isn’t in a chastity device because we can’t find one small enough to fit him but he is in mental chastity, I think chastity is a big part of it.

The other thing I want to say which is often brought up when talking about cuckolding is the ‘cleaning up’ side of things, but I always have to make it clear that most likely wouldn’t happen. It is something I enjoy and if I’m getting pleasure from it then why not but they should never expect it, it might or might not happen depending on my mood. I always make that very clear when they book, the whole thing is not about that, it’s about them knowing their place, being put in the corner, spoken down to and being made aware of their inadequacies. I know it’s not an easy thing to do for some subs so it can also be something that is built up over time. The sub has to be comfortable with being humiliated by my partner as well as me so to reach that I often slowly introduce things like chastity and then the cuckolding after. Also it is better for everyone involved if there is that relationship there built up over time and it’s not just watching two strangers have sex.

  • Who would you most like to work with that you haven’t had the opportunity to do so yet, or who would you love to work with again?

I haven’t done any filming yet there are quite a lot of people I would like to film with though such as, Nikki Whiplash, Mistress T and Miss Jessica Wood, and I think doing something with Rebekka Raynor would be a lot of fun, from what I have seen I think she is quite sadistic. Also ofcourse Lady Sophia Black, people are normally surprised to hear that we haven’t done much together yet. Session wise I’d love to double up with Nikki Whiplash and Miss Annalieza. I have already made plans to session alongside Miss Annalieza in London end of Nov.

There are also a few other Dommes I would really like to meet, Mistress Jezabel and Eleise de Lacy and I would like to meet Mistress Sidonia to name a few.

  • Do you use music in your session, if so what sort of music?

Yes I do, I like a mix of things such as Evanesence, Nickleback and other rocky music. I try to play a certain type of music to fit intot he session. Once though I had accidentally put a playlist on and Disney music started playing. haha yeah, that totally killed the mood haha.

Well in some roleplays that would be quite fitting

Aye haha.

I don’t always use music though, if it’s a judicial or a CP session then I don’t. I don’t want the focus to be on music in that case, it fits the mood to go without in those situations.

  • What is your favourite BDSM or Kink website/blog?

I like English Mansion and I like Mistress T’s website and I love her blog as well, she writes in a way that it seems you can get a real good understanding of her personality which is nice.

  • If you could have one male and one female Celeb to be your sub for the day who would they be?

A female sub would have to be Brittany Spears, a guy sub would be Keith Lemon hahaha, or someone with a really big ego! Actually I think I would change Brittany Spears to Christina Ricci, she looks very vulnerable and really dark, I like that.

  • What are some of you favourite things to do away from bdsm?

Well I like pampering and being pampered and like to spend time with my friends, but that kind of turns into bdsm anyway. I also like to spent time with my partner.

JD x x

London weekend and a trip to Toppers

Last weekend was another long over due fun filled trip to London full of meeting new people, a night out at a new kink club and all round kinky fun.

The ‘weekend’ actually started on Thursday night as I caught the train to somewhere in Essex (I think) to go and meet Kelsey Kitten (go check her out on twitter if you don’t know her, @kelsey_kitten). Kelsey and I had been speaking on twitter for quite a while before last weekend so was great to be able to go meet each other in real life! I was a little nervous before meeting for the first time as we had got on so well online I didn’t want to arrive and it be awkward and us have nothing to say to each other, luckily that was far from the case. I met Kelsey around 6 at the station and i think we stayed up till about 2 in the morning chatting, and I was even accused to talking too much. Although in fairness i think most of that time was Kelsey trying to pack for the weekend in London!

The next day we jumped on the train to London to meet Ely in south east London (I think) and arrived with plenty of time to relax, and then start getting ready for the night out (turns out it was just about enough time for Kelsey). We were greeted by Ely running down the street with a cup of tea in hand to give me a hug and as always was so good to see her. That night we were off to Toppers at The Flying Dutchman which would be Kelsey’s first ever kink night out and the third or forth different club I had been to with Ely, so safe to say there was a bit of excitement all round!

We all got ready, not naming names but some quicker than others, and took afew pictures which I always enjoy. Then I did something I regret now. I rang for a taxi and despite Ely and Kelsey saying that I shouldn’t, I lost my bottle and removed my wig, dress and heels for a t-shirt, jeans and trainers to travel in the taxi to the club. Thinking about it now I really wish I was feeling abit braver and just gone out in exactly what I was wearing only 5 minutes previously. I think its that first time doing it that fills me with worry, and its too easy to find reasons not to do it, i think i just need to ‘man up’ and take that plunge and step out the front door in my heels, wig and dress…..ok so man up might not be the best choice of words there but you know what i mean!

So we arrived at Toppers and I got changed quickly back into my outfit for the night. Now I have to be honest Toppers wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, and was more like a pub than a club, but this was before I knew what was hiding downstairs. The first couple of hours we spent upstairs chatting and having afew drinks and the night was fun but I wanted it to be really good for Kelsey’s first. I was a little worried i had taken Kelsey to a night she wouldn’t enjoy but it turned out I shouldn’t have been worried. In the early hours we fully discovered downstairs and that’s were all the fun was taking place! Before this weekend a friend described Toppers to me as almost two different clubs with the upstairs being very much a social area to chat etc and the downstairs all about the play and it was at this point I could see exactly what they meant. The whole room downstairs was full of dungeon equipment and by the time we headed down most of it was in use. Now i know I have mentioned on here before about enjoying people watching me while im playing but its also true that I enjoy watching others play so should be no surprise to anyone that as we headed down the stairs and I saw this dungeon room almost full, my eyes lit up.

dee kiss

Me and Kelsey at Toppers

Now as much fun as it is to see others play, that’s not enough for me and it wasn’t long until me, Ely and Kelsey were all getting involved. I had had a brief spanking upstairs earlier in the night and now we were down in the dungeon area Ely seemed more than happy to introduce Kelsey to the joys of spanking and I have to say I was impressed. I thought Kelsey took quite abit and seemed to be enjoying every bit of it, and i could tell Ely was as well. There were also tears (Ely’s favourite) but Kesley was in very capable hands as I know from first hand experience Ely is amazing at the aftercare side of things. Next it was my turn and Ely spanked and paddled me in afew different positions which i really enjoyed, then Kelsey had a go herself and under Ely’s guidance she did really well and that really did felt great, happy happy Jess at this stage! I returned the favour to Kelsey as well which is rare for me but something I did really enjoy. (I even ended the night with a bit of massage from Goddess Cleo so in terms of how to end a fun filled night, that is right up there with the best of them).

One of the funniest moments of the night happened in the taxi on the way home, we were the last job for the taxi driver and Kelsey decided that it would be rude to not include him in our conversation on the way back to the flat! It was safe to say he wasn’t the most chatty of guys but when Kelsey decided to declare ‘Jamel, I think my  bum hurts’ I think the poor guy started to get worried, bet he was glad when we dropped us off!

The next day we all stayed in the apartment again and went out for a drinks in the evening, we got back and had a bit of a play with rope and Ely worked her magic on me and soon had me tied up and in that blissful place i go to when in bondage. Was a really fun weekend and I was just abit sad that it all went by so quickly. Time to plan the next one i think.

JD x x

Bondage

Well this one is all about Bondage so where better to start than with the definition shall we:

‘bond-age n.

1.The state of one who is bound as a slave or serf.

2 A state of subjection to a force, power, or influence.

3 The practice of being physically restrained, as with cords or handcuffs, as a means of attaining sexual gratification.

4. Villeinage.’

I actually have afew bones to pick with this definition so lets start with number 1, don’t agree with the ‘slave’ part and whats the ‘serf’ part all about. Number 2 and 3 are pretty much exactly what I consider bondage to be apart from the use of ‘cords’, thats definitely not something I think of when talking about bondage! Number 4 I really cant agree with but that’s largely because I don’t know what it means haha

So here are my thoughts on bondage. I think its safe to say bondage is one of the biggest/most popular aspects of bdsm, the clue is in the name after all (I definitely didn’t have to look up what BDSM stands for on Wiki….)  and I’m absolutely no exception to this as I LOVE it.

Ever since I first started discovering and exploring BDSM and kink in general, bondage has been right up at the top of my list of things I wanted to do. In fact even before I started actually doing anything about my curiosity for kink bondage was very often at the for front of my fantasies. My earliest fantasies that I can remember that were kink related involved hot (often slightly older) girls tying me up. Funny how things work out…haha

Some things ever change and even today bondage remains at the for front of my fantasies and it still involves hot Domme women restraining me in some way.

As most people know bondage comes in many forms and its safe to say I have far from experienced all of them!  I do however feel quite lucky to have at least sampled a handful of them ranging from metal handcuffs, wrist restraints, rope, spreader bars and recently nylon bondage.  So lets get started shall we.

Rope

Without a doubt my absolute favourite! This is not only my favourite type of bondage I have done so far but its actually my favourite aspect of kink in general. I’m very lucky to have a bit of experience in this and have been tied up by a few different people. One of the thing I have found about rope bondage, and its one of the reasons I love it, is because its always different and always exciting each time I try it. I have been tied up by friends, acquaintances, people I had only just met, and people who I know really well. I have been tied at home, in clubs and on camera, and the one thing that they all have in common is that I enjoyed all of them.

Having said that though, the most enjoyable times have been with the people I know really well, which leads me to the next reason why I love rope. I love the closeness, the touching and the intimacy that you can feel with someone tying you up, its that connection you can have with someone which I have felt very strongly on occasions when playing with rope. Something that is on my do to list is to learn more about the knots and even try tying some myself, as I assume that same connection can be felt when your the one tying. I hope to find that out for myself someday, but I will save that for a whole other blog post. The other thing I love about rope is the marks that are left behind after, I love seeing them on me and I love seeing them on others, its always a shame to see them fade away.

HandCuffs

Believe it or not but I have only ever been put in proper metal handcuffs once in my entire life, I personally think this just isn’t on and must change soon! Despite my lack of experience here I still love the use of handcuffs and seriously do want to use them more. I think the appeal of being restrained with just a basic pair of handcuffs is because of the fact that its just a basic pair of handcuffs but it still takes that control from you almost immediately. The speed on which you can become restrained and lose the ability to move your arms or legs, that loss of control is something I cant get enough of.  I have lots of thoughts about people whipping out a pair of handcuffs and either cuffing my hands together or cuffing me to something and leaving me there so I cant cause too much trouble ;)

The more I think about this and more I wonder why this has hardly ever happened yet!

Wrist and ankles restraint

I have classed these as different to handcuffs because I have always separated the two in my head. I see these as individual things that can combine together to create all sorts of exciting bondage, whether is be a simple restraining the wrists together or it be linking up all four into a hogtie. I have always thought of these as something to wear for longer periods of time (sleeping in them is a lot of fun) and that way your always ready to be restrained at a moments notice, perfect.

Nylon Bondage

This is a new one as I only just tried it the other month but I loved it straight away. It was the first time i had tried any type of encasement and its now something I would like to do again….and again……and again. If you know how great the feeling of slipping on a pair of stockings or tights is straight after you have shaved your legs then imagine that feeling all over your body. Then imagine someone also wearing nylons rubbing, touching and stroking you while your barely able to move. Well that was my experience of it so its no wonder I want to do it more!

 

There is still many more types of bondage that im yet to try or yet to discover, but the one thing I do know is that I cant wait to try them all.

 

JD x x