I am very pleased to be able to say that the next of my new series of interview blog posts is with Miss Sarah Jessica. I have known (in the loosed sense of the word) Miss Sarah Jessica almost since I first really started properly getting into kink about 2 years ago, we had been in similar places at similar times, with the same group of people but for one reason or another our paths never quite crossed. Well I for one im very happy that they now have and we were able to have a few long and very interesting conversations and be able to do this interview. I have to say doing this interview with Miss Sarah Jessica has been a real pleasure and I don’t think i could say enough positive things about her now, other than if you do get the chance to meet her, session with her or just chat with her, don’t past it up!
So that just leaves me to say a great big thank you to Miss Sarah Jessica and that I hope people enjoy the interview.
(For those that don’t know I should add the translation – Aye is Scottish for yes) :P
- How did you first get into the world of kink, is it something that was always an interest?
Kink has always played a big part in my life since around the ages of 8 or 9 when I used to play baddies and goodies where I used to tie my friends up. I was also a big Barbie lover and I used to get ken to do bad things to Barbie and things like that. It was around that time that I started to look at things online as well and that went on for years and the feelings for it started to grow and become deeper. I also remember there was this zip wire where we used to visit my mum and dads caravan in England, I remember I used to sit on the zip wire and make this boy pull me up while I was hitting him with a stick, so I think that was another little clue along the way that I was quite sadistic.
I think that sadistic streak has been there with me for the majority of my life but it wasn’t till I met people that it started to really grow. I met Lady Sophia Black and she started to notice something in me, until then it just never really clicked. It took for somebody to point out that I’m quite sadistic and then I thought actually Aye that kind of makes sense and then it sort of fell into place. I have only been a Mistress for about two and a half years but I’m not new, I have been kinky all my life, it’s always been there. It is really in those last two and a half years though I have felt so much happier and so much more contented, I feel like I’m somewhere where I belong now, I have found me.
- How did you first get in being a Pro Domme, was it something that you always wanted to try?
It was Sophia, and no it wasn’t something I had thought about it really just fell into place to be honest. I had seen her doing it and I tried it and thought actually I am quite good at this. Also around the same time I started doing stuff with Governess Ely and it all progressed and escalated from there.
Did you do sessions with Ely or Sophia at the start?
I used to do sessions with Ely yes and then that sort of fizzled out. I have done a few with Sophia as well but as she’s in London and I’m in Scotland or Manchester it’s not happened that often, but we plan to do more of them soon.
I can imagine that would be very popular, so watch this space then?
Aye, we work really well together, and with Megara Furie, she is very fun and creative and doesn’t take herself too serious which is always good and that’s a lot like me, I’m a very bubbly person.
- What is your favourite thing about being a pro Domme?
My favourite thing about being a Pro Domme is the fact that I can be myself. I don’t have to go to work and pretend to be something that I’m not, I’m myself throughout every single day. I also love the people that I meet, the variety and the difference between every individual person. It’s one of those jobs where it’s not predictable, you don’t know what you going to get every single day and that’s something I enjoy. Plus it’s also a lot of fun.
- What was your worst/best previous job before being a Pro Domme?
I haven’t really had many other jobs. My worse job was probably working in a layers office doing filing etc. Also when I was about 16 I worked in a chip shop but that only lasted about 5 minutes. They tried to make me wear this hat and I hate hats so I basically said it wasn’t happening and I just walked out.
As good a reason as any to leave your job!
I wasn’t wearing their hat! I wasn’t standing there looking stupid and feeling uncomfortable, so I left!
- How can a submissive contact you to arrange a session?
There are two ways, either phone call or email. I do prefer quite a detailed email first and then a phone call, I always like to speak to somebody on the phone prior to a session but some people can be a bit embarrassed talking about some things on the phone so might find it easier to say in an email. Once that is all cleared up in an email then they can phone and discuss it briefly which gives me a chance to get a feel for that person before the session. Plus it gives me a chance to see if they are real as well. Deposits are always needed though.
Do you only session with someone once you have had a deposit?
Yeah, I won’t session with anyone new unless they had paid a deposit, it eliminates the time wasters. Although once someone has sessioned with me before then it’s not needed. However, if they are unable to do that and have a good reason, then I will let them buy me a small gift from my amazon wish list. Eliminating the time wasters is important, Mistress’s spend a lot of time preparing for a session so for somebody to just not turn up is a huge waste of time, that energy and focus could be on someone else. As with most Mistress’s I can spot a timewaster almost straight away though and don’t put any effort in those calls, unless I’m bored that day and then I just toy with them a bit!
I’m quite fussy about who I session with, I have no problem guiding or advising a sub to see someone else if I think they are more suited. I like putting everything into a session so if we are not going to click then it would just be crap for both of us. I do it with Megara quite a bit because she is very good at roleplay whereas that is not really my thing, so when I get an email asking for roleplay in Glasgow I just send them on to Megara.
- What can a client expect from you in their first visit to see you?
I think I can be quite warm and friendly, some people that might be seeing a dominatrix for the first time might expect me to be very strict and harsh but we are not all like that. I try to make them feel as comfortable as I can to begin. I don’t like to rush people out of the door, I like to have a de brief and a coffee afterwards and just a bit of a chat, there is nothing worse than the ‘get your clothes on and out you go’, I hate that and it would make me feel crap as well!
- Other that real time how can a submissive serve you? Do you do anything other than real time?
Everybody starts in session as it eliminates time wasters and it shows dedication and that they really want it. I have a few subs that get a monthly visit to see me at my house but that only comes after time, I don’t just invite anyone to my house, I need to build up that trust.
I used to do Skype but not so much now and I don’t really do any phone domination because I don’t really have time for that anymore. I don’t really enjoy webcam, I much prefer in the flesh, I can intimidate them more then! I like eye contact, I want the sub to be looking at me in the eyes and then I don’t even have to tell them sometimes, they just know. It’s a powerful thing.
- Are you looking for a personal sub?
Actually that’s not true, I want a female sub for me and my partner.
Female subs seem to be in shorter supply?
I know, and women are hard work, sometimes I’m glad I don’t have to Domme a girl! I think it’s not very often you come across a girl that would be happy to sub to both me and my partner, they would have to be ok with both.
You mentioned you have a few subs at the moment, would you call them your personal subs?
Yes I have a personal slave who I have known for a few years. We have a good relationship and good trust between us which to me is vital. It is lots of good fun.
- So what websites do you have and where can subs get in contact with you?
I have my main site which I use:
I also use twitter and to a lesser extent Fetlife, twitter is my favourite because it’s great for socialising.
I used to use Facebook but I’m getting rid of it now because it is just full of knobs!
Quite literally at times!
- Do you have a favourite piece of equipment/favourite toy?
I really like wooden paddles they are a lot of fun. Also a gynaecology chair, I love it, you can get right in there and do all sorts when they are in that position.
- What is your favourite fetish outfit to wear?
I’m really getting into my leather at the moment and I also like my corsets, I pretty much have a corset on 95% of the time. I do like latex but it can sometimes be quite restrictive, especially if it’s a really long session it can sometimes feel like you are coming out of a great big condom afterwards. Haha
- What is your favourite type of play during a session, or favourite
This is a hard one to answer because really I’m into a lot of different things. I really like tease and denial, orgasm denial, CBT and strap on and I do enjoy CP. I’m very into humiliation and I love degradation, I would say that’s one of my main things. Oh and I also love pretty much anything to do with foot fetish.
- What are the best qualities you look for in a sub? Is that different between a personal sub and one that books a session?
Well if being totally honest a session is much more about them as they are paying for what they want. Whereas with a personal sub it’s really give and take.
So the qualities I look for are self-motivation, they must be trustworthy and have a sense of humour, they have to have a sense of humour there’s nothing worse than a morbid, dull slave who acts like a robot.
I think I know what you mean; you don’t just want someone to say ‘Yes Mistress’ and agree with anything?
Oh they have to agree with me! Haha. Although they need to have initiative, if they see something that needs doing they shouldn’t wait to be told to do it, they should just get on with it to help me and make my life easier.
- If you could give one piece of advice to a sub what would it be?
If you are going to see a Pro Domme, research them before making any initial contact. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was me then I would want to know everything I could about who I was possibly going to serve. It also shows the sub is keen, interested and enthusiastic. If it’s obvious someone hasn’t done that bit of research then it puts me off sessioning with them.
- What are the top 3 mistakes you find a sub makes with you?
The first one is asking me if I provide sexual services, which is obviously a no. Also calling me Mistress Jessica, that really annoys me! A third one would be asking me where my website is, if that happens they have failed already.
- I saw you were in a film that is being released next year, what is the film about and how did that come about?
I have known Phil Howard who is the director of the film for about two and half years and he basically asked me if I’d like to take a role in it. The film is called The Middle Man and is about his life as a middle man and sort of a gangster, it’s really his autobiography. Megara Furie and I will be playing ‘Domme torturers’ so the part is really perfect for us. I remember jokingly saying to him that “we don’t really need a script”. Haha. It’s only a small part but the filming starts next year and the film should be released the end of 2015. Also the book is being released in March. There are a few well known celebs in it so it was an honour to be asked, plus it will possibly give the kink side of things a bit of publicity. The story behind our part is this gangster owns money to a drug dealer and he pays two Domme torturers to come and get the money back for him so not fully kink related but will be a lot of fun, I’m so excited and I can’t wait.
- I know that you offer cuckold sessions with your partner, if that something that has always been an interest to you? Did you have to persuade your partner to be involved?
No, my partner has about 15 years’ experience in cuckolding and used to do it in in his private life so it was him really that got me into it and it’s something now that I really enjoy. It is a whole different level of humiliation and it is the humiliation part of it which gets me, I really enjoy that aspect of it. What I get from the cuckolding is that the cuckold is not good enough to be with me in that way, I need a real man for that and the cuck is always made aware that he is not good enough and is inadequate in that way.
Is it something that you link with chastity?
Yes, we have our own cuck who actually isn’t in a chastity device because we can’t find one small enough to fit him but he is in mental chastity, I think chastity is a big part of it.
The other thing I want to say which is often brought up when talking about cuckolding is the ‘cleaning up’ side of things, but I always have to make it clear that most likely wouldn’t happen. It is something I enjoy and if I’m getting pleasure from it then why not but they should never expect it, it might or might not happen depending on my mood. I always make that very clear when they book, the whole thing is not about that, it’s about them knowing their place, being put in the corner, spoken down to and being made aware of their inadequacies. I know it’s not an easy thing to do for some subs so it can also be something that is built up over time. The sub has to be comfortable with being humiliated by my partner as well as me so to reach that I often slowly introduce things like chastity and then the cuckolding after. Also it is better for everyone involved if there is that relationship there built up over time and it’s not just watching two strangers have sex.
- Who would you most like to work with that you haven’t had the opportunity to do so yet, or who would you love to work with again?
I haven’t done any filming yet there are quite a lot of people I would like to film with though such as, Nikki Whiplash, Mistress T and Miss Jessica Wood, and I think doing something with Rebekka Raynor would be a lot of fun, from what I have seen I think she is quite sadistic. Also ofcourse Lady Sophia Black, people are normally surprised to hear that we haven’t done much together yet. Session wise I’d love to double up with Nikki Whiplash and Miss Annalieza. I have already made plans to session alongside Miss Annalieza in London end of Nov.
There are also a few other Dommes I would really like to meet, Mistress Jezabel and Eleise de Lacy and I would like to meet Mistress Sidonia to name a few.
- Do you use music in your session, if so what sort of music?
Yes I do, I like a mix of things such as Evanesence, Nickleback and other rocky music. I try to play a certain type of music to fit intot he session. Once though I had accidentally put a playlist on and Disney music started playing. haha yeah, that totally killed the mood haha.
Well in some roleplays that would be quite fitting
I don’t always use music though, if it’s a judicial or a CP session then I don’t. I don’t want the focus to be on music in that case, it fits the mood to go without in those situations.
- What is your favourite BDSM or Kink website/blog?
I like English Mansion and I like Mistress T’s website and I love her blog as well, she writes in a way that it seems you can get a real good understanding of her personality which is nice.
- If you could have one male and one female Celeb to be your sub for the day who would they be?
A female sub would have to be Brittany Spears, a guy sub would be Keith Lemon hahaha, or someone with a really big ego! Actually I think I would change Brittany Spears to Christina Ricci, she looks very vulnerable and really dark, I like that.
- What are some of you favourite things to do away from bdsm?
Well I like pampering and being pampered and like to spend time with my friends, but that kind of turns into bdsm anyway. I also like to spent time with my partner.
JD x x