London weekend and a trip to Toppers

Last weekend was another long over due fun filled trip to London full of meeting new people, a night out at a new kink club and all round kinky fun.

The ‘weekend’ actually started on Thursday night as I caught the train to somewhere in Essex (I think) to go and meet Kelsey Kitten (go check her out on twitter if you don’t know her, @kelsey_kitten). Kelsey and I had been speaking on twitter for quite a while before last weekend so was great to be able to go meet each other in real life! I was a little nervous before meeting for the first time as we had got on so well online I didn’t want to arrive and it be awkward and us have nothing to say to each other, luckily that was far from the case. I met Kelsey around 6 at the station and i think we stayed up till about 2 in the morning chatting, and I was even accused to talking too much. Although in fairness i think most of that time was Kelsey trying to pack for the weekend in London!

The next day we jumped on the train to London to meet Ely in south east London (I think) and arrived with plenty of time to relax, and then start getting ready for the night out (turns out it was just about enough time for Kelsey). We were greeted by Ely running down the street with a cup of tea in hand to give me a hug and as always was so good to see her. That night we were off to Toppers at The Flying Dutchman which would be Kelsey’s first ever kink night out and the third or forth different club I had been to with Ely, so safe to say there was a bit of excitement all round!

We all got ready, not naming names but some quicker than others, and took afew pictures which I always enjoy. Then I did something I regret now. I rang for a taxi and despite Ely and Kelsey saying that I shouldn’t, I lost my bottle and removed my wig, dress and heels for a t-shirt, jeans and trainers to travel in the taxi to the club. Thinking about it now I really wish I was feeling abit braver and just gone out in exactly what I was wearing only 5 minutes previously. I think its that first time doing it that fills me with worry, and its too easy to find reasons not to do it, i think i just need to ‘man up’ and take that plunge and step out the front door in my heels, wig and dress…..ok so man up might not be the best choice of words there but you know what i mean!

So we arrived at Toppers and I got changed quickly back into my outfit for the night. Now I have to be honest Toppers wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, and was more like a pub than a club, but this was before I knew what was hiding downstairs. The first couple of hours we spent upstairs chatting and having afew drinks and the night was fun but I wanted it to be really good for Kelsey’s first. I was a little worried i had taken Kelsey to a night she wouldn’t enjoy but it turned out I shouldn’t have been worried. In the early hours we fully discovered downstairs and that’s were all the fun was taking place! Before this weekend a friend described Toppers to me as almost two different clubs with the upstairs being very much a social area to chat etc and the downstairs all about the play and it was at this point I could see exactly what they meant. The whole room downstairs was full of dungeon equipment and by the time we headed down most of it was in use. Now i know I have mentioned on here before about enjoying people watching me while im playing but its also true that I enjoy watching others play so should be no surprise to anyone that as we headed down the stairs and I saw this dungeon room almost full, my eyes lit up.

dee kiss

Me and Kelsey at Toppers

Now as much fun as it is to see others play, that’s not enough for me and it wasn’t long until me, Ely and Kelsey were all getting involved. I had had a brief spanking upstairs earlier in the night and now we were down in the dungeon area Ely seemed more than happy to introduce Kelsey to the joys of spanking and I have to say I was impressed. I thought Kelsey took quite abit and seemed to be enjoying every bit of it, and i could tell Ely was as well. There were also tears (Ely’s favourite) but Kesley was in very capable hands as I know from first hand experience Ely is amazing at the aftercare side of things. Next it was my turn and Ely spanked and paddled me in afew different positions which i really enjoyed, then Kelsey had a go herself and under Ely’s guidance she did really well and that really did felt great, happy happy Jess at this stage! I returned the favour to Kelsey as well which is rare for me but something I did really enjoy. (I even ended the night with a bit of massage from Goddess Cleo so in terms of how to end a fun filled night, that is right up there with the best of them).

One of the funniest moments of the night happened in the taxi on the way home, we were the last job for the taxi driver and Kelsey decided that it would be rude to not include him in our conversation on the way back to the flat! It was safe to say he wasn’t the most chatty of guys but when Kelsey decided to declare ‘Jamel, I think my  bum hurts’ I think the poor guy started to get worried, bet he was glad when we dropped us off!

The next day we all stayed in the apartment again and went out for a drinks in the evening, we got back and had a bit of a play with rope and Ely worked her magic on me and soon had me tied up and in that blissful place i go to when in bondage. Was a really fun weekend and I was just abit sad that it all went by so quickly. Time to plan the next one i think.

JD x x

Bondage

Well this one is all about Bondage so where better to start than with the definition shall we:

‘bond-age n.

1.The state of one who is bound as a slave or serf.

2 A state of subjection to a force, power, or influence.

3 The practice of being physically restrained, as with cords or handcuffs, as a means of attaining sexual gratification.

4. Villeinage.’

I actually have afew bones to pick with this definition so lets start with number 1, don’t agree with the ‘slave’ part and whats the ‘serf’ part all about. Number 2 and 3 are pretty much exactly what I consider bondage to be apart from the use of ‘cords’, thats definitely not something I think of when talking about bondage! Number 4 I really cant agree with but that’s largely because I don’t know what it means haha

So here are my thoughts on bondage. I think its safe to say bondage is one of the biggest/most popular aspects of bdsm, the clue is in the name after all (I definitely didn’t have to look up what BDSM stands for on Wiki….)  and I’m absolutely no exception to this as I LOVE it.

Ever since I first started discovering and exploring BDSM and kink in general, bondage has been right up at the top of my list of things I wanted to do. In fact even before I started actually doing anything about my curiosity for kink bondage was very often at the for front of my fantasies. My earliest fantasies that I can remember that were kink related involved hot (often slightly older) girls tying me up. Funny how things work out…haha

Some things ever change and even today bondage remains at the for front of my fantasies and it still involves hot Domme women restraining me in some way.

As most people know bondage comes in many forms and its safe to say I have far from experienced all of them!  I do however feel quite lucky to have at least sampled a handful of them ranging from metal handcuffs, wrist restraints, rope, spreader bars and recently nylon bondage.  So lets get started shall we.

Rope

Without a doubt my absolute favourite! This is not only my favourite type of bondage I have done so far but its actually my favourite aspect of kink in general. I’m very lucky to have a bit of experience in this and have been tied up by a few different people. One of the thing I have found about rope bondage, and its one of the reasons I love it, is because its always different and always exciting each time I try it. I have been tied up by friends, acquaintances, people I had only just met, and people who I know really well. I have been tied at home, in clubs and on camera, and the one thing that they all have in common is that I enjoyed all of them.

Having said that though, the most enjoyable times have been with the people I know really well, which leads me to the next reason why I love rope. I love the closeness, the touching and the intimacy that you can feel with someone tying you up, its that connection you can have with someone which I have felt very strongly on occasions when playing with rope. Something that is on my do to list is to learn more about the knots and even try tying some myself, as I assume that same connection can be felt when your the one tying. I hope to find that out for myself someday, but I will save that for a whole other blog post. The other thing I love about rope is the marks that are left behind after, I love seeing them on me and I love seeing them on others, its always a shame to see them fade away.

HandCuffs

Believe it or not but I have only ever been put in proper metal handcuffs once in my entire life, I personally think this just isn’t on and must change soon! Despite my lack of experience here I still love the use of handcuffs and seriously do want to use them more. I think the appeal of being restrained with just a basic pair of handcuffs is because of the fact that its just a basic pair of handcuffs but it still takes that control from you almost immediately. The speed on which you can become restrained and lose the ability to move your arms or legs, that loss of control is something I cant get enough of.  I have lots of thoughts about people whipping out a pair of handcuffs and either cuffing my hands together or cuffing me to something and leaving me there so I cant cause too much trouble ;)

The more I think about this and more I wonder why this has hardly ever happened yet!

Wrist and ankles restraint

I have classed these as different to handcuffs because I have always separated the two in my head. I see these as individual things that can combine together to create all sorts of exciting bondage, whether is be a simple restraining the wrists together or it be linking up all four into a hogtie. I have always thought of these as something to wear for longer periods of time (sleeping in them is a lot of fun) and that way your always ready to be restrained at a moments notice, perfect.

Nylon Bondage

This is a new one as I only just tried it the other month but I loved it straight away. It was the first time i had tried any type of encasement and its now something I would like to do again….and again……and again. If you know how great the feeling of slipping on a pair of stockings or tights is straight after you have shaved your legs then imagine that feeling all over your body. Then imagine someone also wearing nylons rubbing, touching and stroking you while your barely able to move. Well that was my experience of it so its no wonder I want to do it more!

 

There is still many more types of bondage that im yet to try or yet to discover, but the one thing I do know is that I cant wait to try them all.

 

JD x x

Look for the Woman

Recently I have been going through a bit of a phase ( well i hope its a phase) where I have been thinking a lot about what I want, what I don’t want, what im really looking for and a lot about how my dressing and bdsm/sub side fit together and if that comes as one thing or they can be separated. This has left me feeling very confused and full of doubts and questions and im a little ashamed to say, it has also led to a few insecurities creeping back in which I though i had got rid of a while ago!

I have been considering writing something about how i feel but havn’t posted anything because I’m tending to write something and then re read and think that’s not what i was trying to say! Then the other day I heard this song by Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip for the first time in ages and the lyrics just fitted for me. I kind of imagine this is me (as a guy) talking to me (as Jess),

In my mind Its quite close to how I was/am feeling about a few things but might not make any sense to others reading. If that’s the case then its also a really good song so win win i reckon! So here are the lyrics, the song is called ‘Look for the woman’  make of it as you like, for me this sums up part of my doubts and confusion quite well.

 

 

There’s a weight over me today
It’s something I have to say
Love you too much to leave
Don’t like you enough to stay

My head’s in a mess
And I’m stressed
But I guess it’s a test in the quest for happiness
And the rest of that mess
So I best just acquiesce
Even though I’ve grown tired of you

And that ain’t meant to sound spiteful
I’m just trying to be insightful
When I write all my emotions
In the night, all the stuff I try to fight
Will just come out and the sad fact is, I’m so tired of you

Love, it’s a weird thing ain’t it?
There’s no way to explain it
But I swear, as well as pain
There should be joy, but we sustain
The same level of mundane,
And it’s numbing me through

I often wonder if I’d miss you,
And still have the urge to kiss you,
If an issue was to hit through
To this heart that now feels disused,
And said issue was too big to just ignore
And I walked out on you?

The chances are I’d fall apart
And suffer seizures of the heart
As my chest begins to smart
The very second have to part
I want to go back to the start
But then again, maybe I’d just feel new.

Maybe I’d get my life on track
And start to focus my attack
On all the things my life just lacks
And start to claw my passion back
Instead of living like a hack,
Half-committed, half-relaxed
I’d have nothing to lose

There’s a weight over me today
It’s something I have to say
Love you too much to leave
Don’t like you enough to stay

There’s a weight over me today
It’s something I have to say
Love you too much to leave
Don’t like you enough to stay

I guess lately I’ve had too much time to think
And yeah, way too much drink
When paper meets the ink
Overthinking is the chink in my armour
That’s just what I do
And I’ve always been that way, forever questioning each day and every plea that’s made that maybe
when I lay my busy mind will make me prove by finding problems and reasons
that might not even be true.

See, we got together so young,
Before our real lives had begun
But flowers don’t grow up as one
Each finds its own way to the sun
And that’s exactly what we’ve done.

We’ve grown up separately too,

And for a few years now it’s been the problem,
And these realisations, I wish that I could stop them,
But I’ve realised that love is all we have in common,
And deep down you know that’s true.

But then surely that I’m still in love with you means there’s something we can do
To get us through and to pursue a brand new point of view on how this gap grew,
between me and you.

So there’s a weight over me and I’d hate to have to leave,
But in fate I don’t believe and the state of you and me isn’t great as you can see
so I’ll keep thinking this through.

There’s a weight over me today
It’s something I have to say
Love you too much to leave
Don’t like you enough to stay

There’s a weight over me today
It’s something I have to say
Love you too much to leave
Don’t like you enough to stay

There’s a weight over me today
It’s something I had to say
Love you too much to leave
Don’t like you enough to stay

There’s a weight over me today
It’s something I have to say
Love you too much to leave
Don’t like you enough to stay

 

 

JD x x

Club Sanctum mark two

Last Saturday I took a long overdue trip back to London for a kink night out and a chance to go out dressed up as it had been way too long.

I was heading to Club Sanctum in London ( I still don’t have a clue what part of London it is in thinking about, it but im saw people can find that out). Sanctum is a relatively small club night run by Miss Kitty Bliss and this was my second time i had been after going last November.

My day started early in the afternoon as I was meeting Kitty as her place before heading to the club, I also was looking forward to meeting Miss Kitty Bliss’s sub Sarah Jane for the first time so was glad to hear she would be coming over before the club. I have spoken to Sarah Jane quite abit online in the last few weeks/months so it was great to actually meet in person and to chat face to face. I have to say Sarah Jane was just as nice in person and a lot of fun to hang out with, I really enjoying being able to chat to her and hopefully will be able to see her again soon. (plus one of the first things she said to me was ‘would you like a glass of wine’, cant go wrong from there!)

So we set off to the club so that we arrived before anyone else got there and I got changed into my Maroon coloured dress (still a favourite of mine), black heels (that only lasted about 40 mins on my feet) and some black lingerie and nude stockings. I did some of my make up and Miss Kitty Bliss finished it off just as people started to arrive. Which did mean I could take credit for the eye make up as no one was any the wiser mwhahaha.

It was also Sarah Jane’s birthday that night and im sure if you were there  she might have mentioned it once or twice, or about 10 times! but until 12 o’clock she was the hostess on the door, greeting people as they arrive and showing them round, At 12 her work finished and she got cake and gifts and lots of hugs, I actually missed most of that as I was a little tied up at the time ( i will get to that later) but obviously worried i was missing out on cake, Miss Kitty Bliss did come over and pretty much force feed me a slice, how kind of her! :P

To start with i didn’t really know many people there but said hello to a few and chatted for a bit and wondered round to rooms that I didn’t see the first time i went,  The club started to fill out and It definitely ended up busier than when I was there before. One of my highlights of the night was when i was walking through the club about to head to the bar when I heard the ‘soothing’ tones of an northern accent I recognised and had to go say hello, Ely had arrived, and it was great to see her after a couple of months where quite a few things have changed between us. We had a great big hug and I have to say seeing her and being able to talk afew things over and just to be able to give her a hug, that made the whole trip to London worthwhile, turns out I really miss that girl when i don’t see her!!

Another big highlight of the night involved lots of rope. In the main room there is a space in the middle that can be used for play, from my experience the play doesn’t really start till relatively late and last Saturday i ended up being one of the first to play. I’m definitely not complaining about that though because this kind of appeals to my still ever growing exhibitionist side. I was sitting down chatting to someone when Miss Kitty Bliss came over and introduced me to Annie, she told me Annie was looking for someone to tie up and though I might be the ideal person, at this point my eye lit up and I of course said I would be interested.

Me and Annie chatted for a little about interests, experiences and just generally a little bit about each other until we both agreed it would be fun to play with some rope. It turned out Annie had done this before! Her rope work felt really good, looked really good and best of all, it did both of those things while feeling very secure and very comfortable. Annie started by tying my arms behind my back then moving on to my shoulders, chest and upper arms. i was then laid down on my stomach and my legs were tied together and hog tied, the hogtie is one of my favourite positions and I was loving it at this stage. I had told Annie before that I love a good spanking while being tied and she had said she likes to give abit of pain so when she had finished with the rope the spanking began. It Started off with hands before Ely throw over some slightly harder hitty things and that is when I could tell Annie started to really enjoy it. She did keep telling me, slightly surprised and possibly slightly annoyed, that I wouldn’t stop smiling, In my defence, that wasn’t smiling because it didn’t hurt, trust me it did, and i had the bruises for days afterwards to prove that. I kept smiling because i was tied up in rope and being spanked by a hot switch girl.

of course I was smiling!

After a while Annie started to untied me as it had been the best part of an hour and didn’t want to keep me in the rope too long and i reluctantly agreed to her common sense! A huge thanks to Annie (if you ever read this) it was a lot of fun, you can tied me up again anytime you like!

Hog Tied and Spanked

The remainder of the night i was more of a voyeur watching others play, rope seemed to be the theme of most of the night and I really enjoyed watching Annie tie another girl up as well as another couple playing with some rope where the guy tied up the girl (sorry I don’t know names so guy and girl will have to do) both ties looked a lot of fun, both ties looked really hot and both ties i immediately wanted to try myself!

The rest of the night wasn’t all about about rope though and once Sarah Jane was free of her work duties I was great to be able to chat a little more with her, I also got to spend more time with Ely which i of course love to do, and chatted to afew others including sissy Maria and Lee. The night didn’t quite end as planned but I still had a good night and I look forward to heading back to London soon for another kinky night out.

I should end this blog by saying a huge thank you to Lee for giving my a couch to crash on that night and for sissy maria for giving me a lift the morning after, so thanks to you both, very much appreciated!

JD x x

English Mansion – Third times a charm

As with most cases best to start at the beginning, so that is exactly what i will do here.

A few weeks ago I received an email from Mistress Sidonia asking if I would like to do some filming for The English Mansion again, with a Domme who is very into her CP called Miss Jessica Wood. I of course immediately said yes, in fact I might have replied with a yes before I had even read the whole message!

I knew of Miss Jessica Wood through twitter so being able to meet her and to film with her only made it more exciting. I was really looking forward to being able to do this, but then I had to wait and wait and wait (only actually about 5 weeks, but im massively impatient!)

Then two days before i was due to do the filming I had abit of nightmare and injured my leg, I originally thought this might stop me from being able to film but luckily I was told it wouldn’t be an issue so a couple of weeks ago I headed over to the English Mansion to film my third scene with them.

I still get nervous doing anything like this but now its much more of a nice level of nerves that just adds to the excitement and it wasn’t till i arrived at the door that it kicked in this time. In fact thinking about it, its more a mixture of nerves combined with worrying slightly if i will look OK (yes, I still think that most times i dress, so when its on camera its about 100 times worse). I arrived to be greeted by Mistress Sidonia and we heading inside where I was greeted with a fantastic surprise, Lady Nina Birch was inside. We said our hellos and were chatting for abit before it dawned on my maybe i was filming with Miss Jessica Wood and Lady Nina Birch. The idea alone was very exciting but i like to think i played it cool haha. After chatting for a little while Mistress Sidonia started getting herself ready for filming and i would be lying if i didn’t start to hope I would be filming with all three! Alas that wasn’t to be, maybe one day. A sub can dream!

Lady Nina Birch then disappeared to get herself ready and Mistress Sidonia started to do my make up. I have said before but i will say it again, I do enjoy this part :). Lady Nina Birch returned while Mistress Sidonia was still doing my make up (takes a loooong time for me to look half presentable but ssshhh i don’t want to ruin that illusion) While I was having eye shadow applied (eyes closed) I heard Miss Jessica Wood arrive, well more specially I heard her laugh :P I had to keep my eyes closed while things dried or while another colour was applied but I really wanted to open them to say hello to Miss Jessica Wood as this was the first time we had met, plus I definitely couldn’t wait to see what Nina Birch And Jessica Wood where wearing for the filming.

I didn’t have to wait long as Mistress Sidonia soon had me looking as feminine as possible and I have to say i thought Nina Birch and Jessica Wood looked stunning, all i could think of at the time was lucky lucky me!

As everyone else was already good to go so to speak, Mistress Sidonia and I went though some of my clothes quickly and picked a dress for me to wear. The story behind the scene was me arriving in this chosen dress rather than a maids uniform, and then being punished for it. This actually worked quite well because its one of my favourite dresses at the moment so any reluctancy to remove it during the film isn’t me pretending, I actually wanted to keep it on!

We then did the filming which included OTK spanking, paddles, foot worship, caning, bondage, and generally being told off by both Nina and Jessica. Near the start of the scene I was on my knees in front of Nina and she is telling me off for wearing the wrong dress, while she was doing this I really generally felt a little scared, it honestly felt like I had done something wrong for real! I didn’t expect that to happen during filming and this was a definite first for me. Maybe it was partly because she was saying how my favourite dress wasn’t good enough, I bloody love that dress lol! I’m not going to go through exactly what happened in the scene but a moment that sticks in my head the most was a moment in between the filming. My legs were in the air, balls feeling very exposed, and Miss Jessica Wood had a cane in her hands talking about the colour balls go when caned. Sidonia afterwards checked everything was ok with my because apparently I had a terrified look on my face. Safe to say I was a little nervous at that moment in time yes, understandably so I think!! I’m glad to say no balls were harmed during the making of the film, even if i was the only one in the room that was happy about that fact :)

Something that I still think I am not very good at or really that natural at in fact, is the talky bits (I believe that is the technical term) during the filming, I was told during this film to apologise to both Nina and Jessica and lets just say there is room for improvement on my side there! lots more regular filming practice needed maybe….that or lots more use of gags! Either way win win.

I think this was one of the first times I have ever done anything with two Dommes together, and being the slightly greedy sub that I am, I hope i can do this a lot more in the future! It was so much fun to be able to film with both ladies and i enjoyed all of it, i really didn’t want to stop at the end. I especially didn’t want it to end because i ended up tied up with a spreader bar, sat on the sofa, wearing a ball gag. Ever since I started discovering kink, bondage has been, and properly always will be one of my favourite things so I was in a happy place at the end of this scene.

This was the only scene I was doing that day but another sub had arrived to do a few more and I was able to stick around and watch. The second scene of the day was a sort of domestic ‘husband’/humilation/cbt ish type scene (very descriptive of me i know) which was a lot of fun to watch. But It was the third scene of the day that stuck with me much more and that was a face sitting/smothering scene that Miss Jessica Wood did outside with the other sub. I had never seen any facesitting in person before and I knew it was a specialty of Miss Jessica Woods so I was very keen to watch, and wow I loved it. It looked fantastic and appealed massively to my growing interest in breath play. Having a stunning Domme women do that me, where do i sign to do that!

I think that scene might have left a lasting impression on me!

So that was another amazing day at English Mansion and again everyone made me feel so welcome, and I enjoyed every minute. A huge thank you to the English Mansion camera man (who shall remain nameless) Miss Jessica Wood, Lady Nina Birch, Dominant Dolly (thank you as well for saving me from the possibility of wearing all those horrible frills as well :) ) and ofcourse Mistress Sidonia. It was an absolute pleasure and thanks for having be back.

JD x x

Interview with Nikki Whiplash Part II

The second and final part of my interview with Nikki Whiplash, in case you missed part I then you can find it here. Enjoy :)

 

  •  Do you have a favourite piece of equipment/favourite toy?

It depends on what I’m doing I suppose, I love violet wands which is why I have got loads of them. They are wicked, so pretty and I love the smell, and you can do it in a completely dark room or electrify your finger to torture somebody with.

And you said you love canes? I used to be terrified of the cane.

That’s because they are terrifying things. It’s got to be a good cane though, not just any old cane. Canes are good! Also me and Chloe always joke we would be nothing without those wand massagers, they are just so much fun.

  •   What is your favourite fetish outfit to wear?

Oh I’m a leather person, I’m allergic to latex, I still wear it but sometimes it will mess up my skin. I wish I could wear more latex as it’s gorgeous.

A moment’s silence for that.

I know, I know.

 .

 .

 .

  • What is your favourite type of play during a session, or favourite activities?

It’s so hard, because it changes and is so subjective.

Depending on who you are with, how you feel etc?

Yes, but I do love ball busting.

I had wrestling and ball busting written down here already.

Ah, again because I’m Mrs. allergy I have to wrestle in trousers now which kind of kills some of the fun of it, you can wrestle better without them. I’m allergic to people, but luckily if you are exposed to something all the time you can become less allergic to it. So if I kept wrestling the same person over and over, I would stop being allergic to them. It’s very strange, with men in particular I just come out in what looks like nettle rash. So wrestling is off my favourites list, but ball busting is a favourite.

I also do really like really hard CP and I like mind fuckery.

(There was a definite slight evil laugh here).

I love doing really hard CP but only to someone that wants that done. I wouldn’t just go right Jess I’m strapping you down now and smashing your bum with this cane even though you don’t want it. That would do nothing for me, so I guess I’m not a true sadist. I only want to be a sadist to someone that wants to be a masochist.

It’s whatever is fun with an individual at the time, but definitely ball busting, definitely caning and teasing people and messing with their heads.

Are you into the humiliation side of things as well?

I am but it depends what form it takes. I think humiliation is quite an individual thing. Whereas if you know you’re into CP, I know how to use a cane, and I know I do a good job of it. With humiliation it takes so many different forms, so what is really humiliating for one person won’t be for another. I do like CFNM stuff when people are really embarrassed about being naked in front of me, that is brilliant fun.. There are certain forms of humiliation where I think if I don’t understand exactly what’s going to be humiliating I find it a bit tricky. I do like laughing at small cocks. It’s really disappointing when they are not incredibly small, though, then I just have to pretend they’re tiny. Maybe there needs to be a new genre: disappointingly-slightly-below-average penis humiliation?

I’m often amazed how popular that actually is with guys.

Yeah, I did a really fun session last week with that, it was a roleplay where I was a solicitor for his wife who was divorcing him for having a small cock and I had to check it was true. It was so much fun, I had to take down all the particulars and then I started working out the volume of his penis, I worked out that if you have a 5 in cock which is 5 in around, which is what he had, then you have half the volume of a 7 in cock which is 6 in around.

That’s some good maths.

Well I do have two maths A levels.

So I was humiliating him about it and that was fun, so yeah humiliation is fun. But there is a really fine line with humiliation and I think until I know somebody I can’t fully relax with it. Someone could genuinely have a hang up about something. I don’t want anyone to hate me, not truly. They can think I’m good at being a bitch, but don’t hate me, please!

  • What are the best qualities you look for in a sub? Is that different between a personal sub and one that books a session?

Well they all start off as one and become the other really.

So is there something that makes them stand out?

It’s personality, it is simply their personality and if I hit it off with them. I quite like people who seem genuine. Admittedly, sometimes my judgement is really out on that but I like people who seem like they are straight up, what you see is what you get. If I feel like someone if trying to be someone else just to please me then that doesn’t really please me, even though they think it does. So being themselves and being a polite, genuine, honest person and having some integrity is also important.

  • If you could give one piece of advice to a sub what would it be?

Try and have some empathy and think about how your behaviour comes across and how you would like to be treated if the roles were reversed. If they can put themselves in my position I have to let a complete stranger into my chambers, I have to be dressed in rubber or whatever, then I have to watch them do my cleaning or whatever it is they want to do. If they put themselves in my position how do you think that would feel, actually it can be a bit of a drag if the person you’ve let in isn’t nice to be around.

  • What are the top 3 mistakes you find a sub makes with you?

The first one is not reading the website and asking me stupid pointless questions. That’s huge, probably 50% of my emails are things that I should never have to respond to because if they had read up in advance they would already know the answer.

Do you respond to those emails?

Depends on the mood I’m in on the day really, and how it’s worded as well. Sometimes they don’t get an answer, sometimes they get a snotty answer and other times I just explain really nicely how they should have read my website if they were serious about coming to see me.

Another mistake is lying: don’t lie! There is no point lying to me of all people. Not turning up and saying your car broke down, or your auntie’s neighbour’s dog got the runs, is so pointless – just be honest and say you bottled it, then I can help you to not bottle it next time!

Another one would be to please have a shower before you come, or ask to use the shower when you arrive, it’s just a polite thing to do and avoids you the embarrassing situation of being asked to go and wash yourself during the session. Also, if a Dominatrix offers you a mint, it’s usually for a reason!

  • How do you prepare for a session or a scene to get into Domme headspace? Do you have to?

I think I’m always in it, because I’m around it all the time. I will wake up and check my emails and go on twitter and immediately be in that zone. So I don’t really need to get in the headspace. Then it’s just setting up anything I need for my session and lighting my candles and putting on my music.

Do you find what you are wearing affects it?

Yeah, hair, make up, nail varnish.

Mood lights and mood music can play a part depending on what I’m doing, but the outfit is really important.

I know some Dommes just say I’m wearing what I’m wearing today and anyone that sees me will see me in that, but I do try to tailor what I’m wearing to the sessions. I do ask people what they would like to see me wearing and if it’s something that I’m happy to wear then I will do that because I think it massively helps. If you have got a leather fetish and I’m in jeans and t shirt it’s not going to work. At the end of the day my outfit is another tool, just like having a whip or anything else, which helps get the right dynamic.

  • Do you have a different approach to male/female subs? Do you see female subs?

Very occasionally, hardly ever really. The times I have mainly done things with female subs is when a guy has brought them along rather than it being the female subs coming on their own.

Do you think that’s because guys are just more likely to see a Pro Domme?

Yes, I think there is a quite unfair balance in terms of sex or kink or anything like that. If a woman walked into a bar full of men and said I want to have sex tonight who is giving me it, I don’t think the men would get upset and she would maybe or probably get what she wanted. Whereas if a man walked into a group of women at a bar and said right ladies I want to have sex tonight who is going to give me it, then he is going to get his face slapped. It’s a weird kind of imbalance. In the same way if a woman wanted to experience something kink wise she has more chance of finding it without going to see a professional.

Also the other thing is, I think women are better at fantasising, so a woman can keep something in her head and think it’s a nice idea, whereas men tend to really want to act on their fantasies. It’s kind of like a double edged sword, for men it’s maybe not as hard to say “this is what I want to do, can someone do it?”, and then have it done for them well. Women don’t necessarily feel the need to act of their urges as much. But yeah, send all the sub girls over my way, although thinking about it I would never get any work done.

When I have had couples come and you are doing something to their husband it’s a bit like “is it ok if I just do this to your husband’s penis?” Once you get started and everything is cool its fine, but the first couple of minutes I sometimes think “oh my god is she going to hit me, I just touched her husband’s cock?!”

So, do I approach it differently with a man or a women, yeah I think I do. The first thing I do if contacted by a woman wanting a session is demand she proves she is a woman. I get more fake women asking me for sessions than real women, unfortunately. So the first thing I would tell her would be to phone me, or asking for her number so I could verify her female status, it’s funny, they seem to stop emailing after you ask for a number.

That’s weird, I wonder why.

Yeah, its very strange haha.

How about with crossdressers, do you treat them differently to male subs that don’t dress?

No I don’t think I do. I have a couple who stay in character as female the whole time which is good, but I think I have learnt to be very straight up when organising for people to visit me, I’m probably quite blunt these days, old cynic really.

Actually, I think I would treat them differently if meeting in person, because I was quite nice to you at pedestal whereas I might not have been if you weren’t Jessica. Without even realising then, that is true because I was really sweet and nice to you I think, If you had been a bloke hanging around in his crusty boxers I might have told you to piss off. So I actually do.

  • As a keen follower of your twitter one thing I really like (other than the stunning pics of course) is your sense of humour and how you seem to include a lot of fun into your domination, do you think the fun almost lighter side of bdsm and the inclusion of humour is important? Is it something you try to do in session?

Yes, because I’m not naturally very good at the stern angry thing, I struggle with it, I can act it for a short period of time but I find it quite draining and it isn’t really me. I can do it in a playful way but it’s hard for long periods of time. I’m more kind of take the piss and jokey and fun. I can be a real cow too, but I’m more playful than horrid. I like men and I don’t think I do a very good act of the man hater thing, I actually only want people here that I like. I find it hard to pretend not to like someone I do like or pretend to like someone I don’t like. I have done a few sessions where I have decided part way through that I don’t like the person very much and I have been genuinely horrid to them – not in an abusive way, just more that I don’t have to try hard to tell them they disgust me because they actually do, but then I finish the session with a bad feeling and I don’t want to finish with a bad feeling, I want to finish with a good feeling. So those people aren’t allowed to come back.

I think people come to me already knowing what I’m like, and if people want to be absolutely degraded and treated like total dirt then they are not going to come and see me in the first place. Even my honey badger who drinks my pints of spit and things like that, I will laugh while he does it, I’m not telling him he’s a disgusting human for drinking my foul spit, I’m more telling him “that looks yummy”, I’m more taking the piss out of him, not being truly horrible. I’m just naturally a happy person, so no point trying to pretend I’m something I’m not.

So to answer the question succinctly, Yes.

  • Who would you most like to work with that you haven’t had the opportunity to do so yet, or who would you love to work with again?

Present company not included by the way.

Well obviously you, if it wasn’t you, let me think.

I have been on about doing something with Miss Sarah Jessica for so long and I have never got round to it so she is definitely someone who is on my list. I have been lucky really because I have already worked with so many cool people. The Hunteress was on my list and I have worked with her a few times now and she is so awesome, she’s on my list of people I want to work with again and again and again. I think she’s the most elegant and imaginative Domme I think I have met. She is really quick witted and creative and fun, and she is a very good actress as well, she’s like the ultimate Domme I think, she’s very cool.

I assume you will keep going back to The English Mansion as well?

Oh obviously, for as long as they’ll have me, that almost goes without saying, I just want to move in.

You and me both!

I’m sure they would have room for us both there in the dungeon or the pit, you can have the pit though.

I was filming there the other day. Filmed with Mistress T, she’s another one on my list because she’s very sharp. She is very nice, but she doesn’t suffer fools lightly so that’s quite cool. I admire she that’s she is quite cutting sometimes, she doesn’t let anyone behave like an asshole which I think it brilliant.

And I saw you did some stuff with Fetish Liza recently?

Oh yeah, she’s cool too, she is really fun. She just looks amazing, she has got the best wardrobe of anyone I have ever met – and I have seen some amazing wardrobes!

So there is always a long list of people you would like to work with?

Yes, but I’m scared to give you an actual list because when I forget someone I would feel like I insulted them, so let’s just say everyone.

  • What sort of music do you like to have for session?

Depends really – I like a bit of Metallica or Marilyn Mansion if I’m doing something violent or bum fucking, something more chilled out like Portishead if it’s something like foot worship. I also like Biffy Clyro. It depends what I’m doing but I do like a bit of nasty hard rock if I’m fucking someone in the bum. If it’s going to ruin the roleplay having music then I wouldn’t have any. Music can get me in the mood, Sepultura is good if I’m being really sadistic.

I find music can really help during play, helps me get in the right frame of mind.

Yes it definitely can do, it can also ruin it though. The worst music crime incident I ever had happen to me was when I thought I had all good music on my iPod so I just put it on random, I can’t remember exactly what I was doing with my sub but The Birdie Song came on which just killed everything.

Haha moment gone!

Yes just totally gone. So yeah I do not recommend the birdy song! I didn’t even know it was on there, out of all the 10,000 songs that could have played, the fucking birdy song played at just the wrong moment.

So music can make a moment and it can kill a moment

It can totally kill a moment, yes!

 

  • Where do you get your inspiration for sessions?

If someone gives me a background for a roleplay that they want to do then I think I have a really good imagination and I can actually believe I’m that person for the duration of that roleplay. I will fill it out and I know all my own background history and what my motivation is and how we have got to this point where I have got my employee over my knee, or whatever it is.

If subs don’t tell me a scene that they fantasise about and it literally is just a straight up Domme session then I pretty much just see how I feel at the time. If I have been given guide lines, which isn’t like a shopping list, but more like them saying I haven’t tried this before and maybe would like to try it, or equally could be “anything at all, as long as you don’t stick something up my bum”. In those cases I will pretty much play around – I don’t even know what is going to happen. So when they ask me what’s going to happen I can honestly say I haven’t got a clue, let’s find out.

  • What is your favourite BDSM or Kink website/blog?

Obviously The English Mansion.

I think what I was saying about Hunteress applies to the English Mansion as well because I think Mistress Sidonia is so imaginative, where some of it comes from I can’t even think. It is so original and so good. It’s not just picking ideas out of nowhere that no one has done before just to be original, they are original but still really appealing. Yeah, I am not worthy!

When you film at places like English Mansion, do you bring your own subs?

Sometimes, it depends, I like to, but equally they have a good stable of blokes that they can use.

If you didn’t take your own sub, then you wouldn’t know who it was until you arrived?

Occasionally no, which is the only thing I ever find difficult because I usually want to have met somebody before I will film with them. The thing I don’t like about filming with people I don’t know is that I don’t know their limits beforehand and that quite a big burden, because everybody is different. People can say “you can kick me really hard” but my idea of really hard will be totally different to theirs. So I have always found that tricky which is why when I film for my own sites I will only use people I have sessioned with or met so that I can be sure, and also that way you know they are going to turn up.

With The English Mansion though, you also know that whoever they have got there is definitely going to be ok. Whereas a few of the shoots I did right at the start of my career for some of the wrestling sites were different. The very first one I did nearly put me off the whole thing before it began. This guy turned up and he smelt like a wet dog, he took me to one side and said ‘I don’t mind if you permanently ruin me, whatever you want to do, its fine with me, really fuck me up’.

In that creepy voice?

Yes. I totally freaked out and I called in the guys that were producing it and said sorry, I’m not touching him – first thing is he smells and second thing is he is really creepy. I would handle that a lot better now though, I would just tell him to get in the shower then just carry on with what I wanted to do, but at that time I wasn’t equipped to cope with that. They had to send him away and one of the guys that was meant to be working the camera had to be in the videos with me.

 

  • If you could have one male and one female Celeb to be your sub for the day who would they be?

Decisions decisions, I’m so picky though! As soon as they started smoking cigarettes then I wouldn’t want them near me, no matter who they were! They would have to be a definitely non-smoking version of anybody.

I get the impression Simon out of Biffy Clyro would be an amazing sub.

Yeah, he looks like he could take a fair bit.

Yeah that’s what I mean, he looks like he would be fun to play with because he would probably let you really fuck him up, so I would have him.

This is going to be tricky, a woman to be a sub for me….It’s sort of saying I kind of want to hurt them, I’m always a bit funny about hurting women, I want to hurt men, I just want to look at women and admire they how pretty they are.

She could be a sub just serving you not wearing much.

Yeah, just walking round in a bikini! Oh then it would definitely be Pink, but I’m not sure I would want to Domme her because she seems pretty Domme herself, she would probably kick my arse if I tried to Domme her! Maybe she could be just my assistant or my alpha sub, above the pack.

But slightly below you.

Yeah slightly below me obviously.

  • What are some of you favourite things to do away from bdsm?

I like to go to concerts and festivals, go running and like to hang out with my friends.

Just wanted to end this one with a huge thank you to Nikki Whiplash for letting me visit and interview her for the afternoon, was a lot of fun and an absolute pleasure, so thank you very much!

 

JD x x

If in doubt, Latex!

I have always liked latex but my love of latex was only really about the fact that I loved the look of it on others. I found (and still find) a Domme wearing a latex dress to be very sexy, It might be a little cliche having a Domme in a latex dress as one of my favourite looks, but who cares, its fucking hot!

Then about a year ago I started to discover there was more to my latex fetish than i originally realised. I wanted to try it myself! I started to try a few different things, leggings, skirt etc. I very quickly found out how incredible latex looks, feels and even smells when wearing it, and ever since then i have been hooked. I was hooked right from the start, hooked enough to find a dress online that I really wanted and plan to buy it.

But then that’s as far as I got for quite a while, things kept stopping me from actually buying it. Money was one of those things, but the main one was really confidence. I loved the dress and knew I wanted to try it but there was that little voice in my head saying maybe you wont suit latex, maybe you wont look that good in it, maybe you couldn’t get away with wearing it out to a club. I’m a little embarrassed to say this actually stopped me from ordering it for months, i kept going back to the site and looking at it and every time thinking yep I still want it, but then stopping myself from ordering.

Then about a month ago I got my hands on a discount code for the site and this was enough of a final little push for me to actually buy the thing!

So the site I was looking at was Westward Bound and it has since become one of my favourite sites, if i had the money then i would literally buy one of everything on there, but one step at a time!

So I knew which dress I wanted, then I had to decide on colour. I knew i wanted my dress to be blue but there were about 5 or 6 different blues on the site to pick from. After umming and awwing about which to go for, I finally decided on a colour and waited patiently (a patiently as i can anyway) for it to arrive in the post. When it finally arrived I had a few mixed feelings about it. I loved the dress itself but I wasn’t sure on the colour, too green for my liking, so I returned and and ordered a far more bluerer one…. :)

This ofcourse meant waiting for the new dress to arrive but luckily this didn’t take long at all, and before long I had another package from Westward Bound waiting for me. This time when I opened it up I was beaming.

I loved it!

It was exactly how I originally pictured it and couldn’t help but smile as I unwrapped it and had a proper look. Once i tried it on I loved it even more, i loved how it felt, I loved the colour and I loved how it looked (from almost all angles). Now I just want to wear it all the time and most of all I want to wear out! The only thing I need to do before that is possible go on a diet haha!

I very much doubt this will be the last piece of latex I buy myself, the only question now is what to buy next!

 

JD x x