Im very pleased to be able to post my latest interview on my blog with a Domme I have known about since getting into kink but never had the opportunity to chat to until recently, and that Domme is none other that Megara Furie. Incase people don’t know Megara Furie is a professional Domme based in Scotland in Glasgow and works from her own Dungeon/studio but also travels both within the UK and abroad. It was a real pleasure being able to do this interview and for me what stood out so much was her love for what she does and how passionate she is about kink, it really is infectious! I was a big fan of Megara Furie form afar before doing this interview but now I have been able to chat with her for a little while, I am even more of a fan, she is a passionate, stunning, talented Domme that truly loves what she does, what more could a sub ask for.
So a huge thank you goes out to Megara for doing this with me and I hope you all enjoy the read.
- How did you first get into the world of kink, is it something that was always an interest?
I have always been interested in it and have always liked the alternative scene. When I was young I was very into the vampire and goth thing and I guess with the vampire thing there is a power thing there, females biting males and enticing them in, using that against them. I always thought that was very cool, I wanted to be that powerful, to have that power over guys.
I have never been a vanilla person, that just didn’t make sense to me. Then when I first started experimenting and getting interested in sex, I can remember wanting to tie up my boyfriends. I was living with a guy for about four years and I remember experimenting together but I didn’t know that these things had names, it was just normal for us. One night we were sitting watching tv and I turned to him and said I don’t know where this is coming from but I want to pee on you and he just said “yeah ok, you can pee on me then.” The next time we had sex I told him to get in the bath and we did just that and it was exhilarating knowing that he was beneath me and was willing to do this for me. That sort of sparked my interest and we experimented with toys and a few things from there. I realised I did have a power and a control over him and I liked it, we didn’t have a formal discussion about it, it was very organic and we just sort of fell into our roles with me being in control. I have never been a vanilla person.
- ·How did you first get in being a Pro Domme, was it something that you always wanted to try, did it happen quite quickly after getting into kink?
After things finished with that boyfriend I then decided to go and dance as a stripper and again that fed the whole power dynamic. Although people talk about strippers or lap dancers as being exploited or they get a bad name for it, the reality is very different. We would sit in the changing rooms and talk about the guys down stairs and maybe if I have taken a few dances off a guy but I know he has xyz in his wallet, or if a guy came in asking for sex we would go over and absolutely wind him up, take his money off his and then just leave him rinsed and alone at the end of the night, we were exploiting them. I love knowing I have someone right around my little finger. I wasn’t in it for attention or any drug problems or anything, I did it because I enjoyed it, I was fucking good at it and I loved the power struggle. I knew how to get what I wanted from guys.
It was an opportunity to make money, most of my dances were VIPs so I was guaranteed £200 for an hour. What I noticed after a while was that I tended to get guys that wanted something alternative off me. I had a guy that wanted to just see me take my shoes on and off and I would charge him more for that because he knew no one else in that club would do it. I used to remind him of that and get into his head about it, he became one of my regulars. I had another guy and all he wanted me to do was knee him in the balls for two hours, so I would still be dancing because of the cameras but every time I turned a certain way I would slam a knee or a foot into his balls, I think I even head butted him once.
One night I was speaking this a guy and there was someone on stage getting whipped or spanked, I said to the guy something about how I would love to do that for a living and he told me there was a Domme looking for someone to train so he gave me her details and I got in contact and she took me on. Within a few months I was so busy I gave up dancing all together.
Did you know much about the BDSM world when you first went to see the Domme?
Only what I had done in my personal life but she took me under her wing and showed me things that filled in the gaps, she knew I was quite imaginative and after one session she told me I would be just fine.
Whats her name, is she still working as a Domme?
Mistress Lilith, yes she still is, she is in Glasgow. She is excellent!
Then after about one year I set up my own place and it has taken about three years for me to be happy with the place and I’m still continuously adding to it. I’m just about to add an extra room which means it will have two play spaces, one will be quite light and more geared towards softer play and role-play. The other will be the room with the suspension and the more hardcore things like the bondage and the CP stuff.
To get your own place after a year seems very quick
I knew that I loved what I was doing and that I could travel with it but I also knew the responsibilities it came with like doing my taxes and all the admin, advertising etc, I’m a very organised person.
- What is your favourite thing about being a pro Domme?
It’s peoples reactions, it doesn’t matter so much what activity I’m doing with a person as long as they are reacting to me and I can see I am having a positive reaction with them and that’s what drives me. That is what gets me through doing the admin and the accounts and the advertising. Doing all these things means I can get sessions in, create an imaginative session for someone then watch their reactions, I get a buzz out of that.
I know for some people coming to see me could be a massive stress relief or the only time they can let someone just take over, its almost like they can have a holiday in their own heads which is great to see. I like to build relationships with people as well and I generally see people more than once, they do tend to come back.
That’s always a good sign.
Yes, everything builds and gets better as that relationship builds.
- What was your worst/best previous job before being a Domme?
I have never had a bad job, oh actually yes I have. I worked for all of two weeks in a chip shop and the women that worked there was a rude, obnoxious, vile person and her hygiene was disgusting. She had me in the back working, which I don’t mind because cooking is one thing that relaxes me. She used to walk in wearing flip flop sandals and had this athlete foot thing which she was constantly itching and then she would touch the food and it used to infuriate me! She would also speak to me in such a bad way, one day I was 5 mins late because of my bus and I had rang in to let them know but don’t think the message got passed on. When I arrived she told me she was docking me an hour and I basically told her “no, you’re not” and told her to shove her job up her arse, threw my apron down and just walked out. I hated that place.
Worse job but a great way to leave.
Spectacular fashion, as always.
My best job is hard to pick, I absolutely adored being a dancer, I would walk into work and be told how beautiful I was. Then I would leave at the end of the night with money in my purse. I also traveled with it and was able to dance in other countries, it got me used to the lifestyle I can enjoy now.
- How can a submissive contact you to arrange a session?
They can either call or email because that’s polite. There is a contact form on both of my websites and I do not take requests via twitter or Facebook, I like to speak to someone on the phone so I can get a feel for them and have a chat about what they are into, and I think hearing each others voices builds an initial connection. I find a lot of the people that try via twitter or Facebook are time wasters as well, they obviously haven’t taken the time to go to my website and read my protocol section, it’s disrespectful. You would think they would value themselves a little bit more by doing a little bit of research on who they were coming to see.
I have heard a lot of stories about guys that have been to see ‘pop up’ Dommes who maybe have heard about the scene recently because its been more published in the media and think ‘I could do that’, but they have not had any training. They think it’s just about yelling at someone, beating them up and taking money off them – it’s really not, it’s a far more sophisticated art than that. If it was that easy then everyone would be doing it. You have to give a shit about what you are doing and who you are seeing and also one thing you can not ever be is a man hater and still be successful at this job – I am such a strong believer in that. This requires a genuine understanding of guys and a concern for their safety. If you are a man hater you are not going to want to even try to give them the best session they can have when they come to see you and a bad first session could put someone off the whole thing for life.
- What can a client expect from you in their first session?
It depends what they ask for. Depends on how much we have spoken before hand, but I tend to go semi light on them so I can judge their reactions and then see if we can push some boundaries. If we can push some boundaries in the first session then by all means I will, but the first session is more about it being the first real opportunity to build trust with that person. I like to start with a chat and as it’s not a strict revolving door policy with me, there is always time before and time after to have a chat or for some after care. It’s really about getting to know that person.
There is one thing I will teach every single sub when they arrive and it’s called a four point count. It’s four positions numbered 1-4 which I expect a sub to be able to get into without me explaining it every single time. It sets the first bit of protocol for them to follow but I also like to have a bit of fun with it as well.
So, basically, I like to have a chat with them and build some trust then show them the four point count and then always have a chat at the end to find out what went well, if there was anything I could do to make it better and what expectations they might have for the next time they come and visit.
- Other that real time how can a submissive serve you? Do you do anything other than real time?
I am a massive real time person, I’m a real touchy feely person. I like being able to see someone in the flesh. I don’t see the point of being on webcam and someone asking for something like foot worship – you can’t feel them, touch them or smell them, I just feel a bit silly doing that. I would much rather they come and see me. I don’t do phone either because I could be telling someone to do something but how can I monitor that if just on the phone?
The only thing I actually do is some domination through twitter, where I will set a sub a task and they will go off and do it and we play a bit off their reactions and there is a bit of banter. I have this sub and I know when he is being cheeky he really wants to be FinDommed and to be told that for his cheek he should go and buy this or that. I have actually made up his very own Wish list that only he can see, it’s called his fuck up list. Every time he is cheeky it’s his saving grace, I have a stern word with him and he goes straight to the list and that’s really his payment for the session. He is very generous and very kind with it, if I’m honest I am not really one for FinDomme and don’t like to just take money without working for it. So I give him the tasks and he has his list and he can decide what items from the list to get depending on the appropriate level of apology. He is extremely good and he is making an effort to come over to Scotland to see me, so I can’t complain.
That is the main reason I could see cam as something that could work, if they are a long away from you
I do tour so they should get into contact with me and ask if there is any chance I could visit their country and once I know there is interest then I start doing research and put the feelers out and see if I can get any more sessions and if I can make it worth my while. I do tend to charge a bit extra to cover extra costs like hotels and hiring a dungeon etc. I have been extremely lucky with travel I have been to New York, LA, Dominican republic, Barcelona, Germany, Poland. It’s great, I love the fact that I am able to travel.
- Are you looking for a personal sub?
I have personal subs, not personal as in intimate but personal as in they do jobs for me and it’s not a paid basis, but they will gift me. They get to work quite closely with me but these are subs I have had for a long time. I would never allow or even entertain the idea of a personal sub that I hadn’t known for at least a year and even then it would be on a trial basis because you are letting them into your personal life. I couldn’t consider collaring someone before then.
Its a big commitment from both I think.
It is a massive thing for them and it’s obviously a massive thing for me. They are committing to see me and only me, you wouldn’t ask someone to be in a serious relationship or ask them to marry after only a month of knowing them. You need to get to know them and find out what their strengths are and what their faults are etc and then you can start to really connect.
- What’s your personal website and which others do you use?
I have two personal sites and I also use instrgram, twitter and Facebook. I do have a Fetlife profile but hardly ever use it, I would do so if they had an app for it though.
Facebook Megara Furie
- Do you have a favourite piece of equipment/favourite toy?
I would say my favourite toy would be the tawse, I love that something so unassuming can cause so much pain. I also love playing with rope as well. I always find when I’m tying someone I feel very relaxed. I sort of get lost in time and I like making it look all pretty. It’s very imitate.
- What is your favourite fetish outfit to wear?
It depends on what I’m doing. I’m a big fan of office wear because I’m comfortable in it, a nice skirt and a shirt with possibly a corset over it. I do also love latex but it can be so time consuming to get it on and off. That can sometimes put me off.
- What is your favourite type of play during a session, or favourite
I’m a massive reaction person, for example I am a massive fan of ball busting, but if I am kicking someone in the balls and they are just pan faced then it removes all the enjoyment for me. However one thing I had hardly ever be bothered with is trampling as it just bores me so much, but if I am doing some trampling with someone and they are really into it and they are giving me feedback and there are reactions there, then it can become the best session in the world. Its all about feeding off the other person and in turn them feeding off of you.
I also like to role-play but I have done some role-plays where someone has given this whole detailed scenario which I have done my best to get my teeth into. I will look the part and will set the scene and remember all the little pointers, because sometimes it can be the little triggers that excites them and if you leave that out it could ruin the whole session. Then they turn up and they just seem to hold back with me and I’m role-playing by myself. That’s the whole reaction thing, I need the reactions from them to make it a great role-play.
- What are the best qualities you look for in a sub?
Qualities in a sub I look for are manners, you don’t have to be anything special just have genuine common sense and use manners that you would use on a day to day basis to show that you are not a dick of a human being. I am courteous and kind and that is what I expect a sub to be as well. They should just be courteous, polite – everything else can be trained, as long as they are open and receptive to learning. The other important thing is that they need to show up for sessions both physically and mentally and be ready to let themselves go and give me the reactions that I’m looking for, do that and then everyone will be happy.
- If you could give one piece of advice to a sub what would it be?
Do your research because that is the first stage where things could go wrong. Doing your research minimises the chance of coming into contact with someone that isn’t a true professional. You are putting your body into someone else’s hands so you need to make sure it is the right person. Find out what they are into, how they treat subs, check if they have twitter or a website, have a look if it is well written, does it look professional etc. Check what services they offer, is it what you would expect from a Domme? Are they actually a Domme or an escort with a whip? The analogy I tend to use is the difference between a hooker and a Domme is the difference between a car salesman and a mechanic, we both deal with roughly the same thing, one is highly skilled while the other gets fucked in the arse occasionally…
The luxury of researching a Domme is there is normally a vast amount of information out there about the person, if there isn’t then find someone else.
- What are the top 3 mistakes you find a sub makes with you?
Inappropriate first contact, it could be a text or through twitter or at a ridiculous time of day, or written in text speak or they call me babe. Any of those things mean you get eliminated. Also giving me a list of your vital statistics makes no fucking difference, it is a session not a date.
Another is over familiarity, I am quite a jokey person and I like to put people at ease but there is a line that they should not cross. Recently I had a sub call me mate and I had to stop him and tell him yes we have a connection but it is a strictly Domme sub connection, I am not your mate.
My third would be asking me out, we might have a laugh and get on like a house on fire and have a real connection during a session but that is where it ends. I care about their well being, I do want to see them again but only on that professional basis. It has to remain professional, just don’t do it, asking me is just embarrassing and awkward for everyone.
- Do you have a different approach to male/female subs? Do you see female subs or crossdressers?
I don’t generally see female subs but I think if I did they are much more emotional creatures so you have to be more delicate where emotions are concerned. I do believe that women have a much higher pain threshold though, women are intrinsically strong and I do have a lot of respect for women that choose to sub. I think women will be able to lose themselves a lot easier because we are used to being able to express our emotions.
And how about crossdressers?
I treat everyone on an individual basis so it really just depends what they are coming to me for. There is no off the rack session – everyone is different.
- What made you pick the name Megara Furie, where does the name come from?
Megara Furie comes from Greek mythology, there were three Erinnyes which were formed from drops of blood from Uranus and send down to Earth to basically find men that had done wrong in their lives and punish them accordingly. They didn’t kill them but caused them so much pain and suffering that they would try to kill themselves. There were three Furie sisters, Megara, Alecto and Tisiphone. I chose Megara because I wanted alliteration in name with Mistress Megara. If you have ever seen the Disney Hercules film then Megara Furie is in that as well, she is the sassy one!
Is it true that you don’t like being called Mistress and much prefer Megara Furie?
When I first started I had people calling me Mistress and I hated it, it made me feel old. I told everyone to call me Megara rather than Mistress so yes that is very true.
- Your ‘Port-a-Domme’ looks like a very exciting idea, how does that work and could you give some examples of the sort of thing you have done with it?
I generally only do this with people I have seen before but I have equipment that folds away and can put into my car so if I have any clients who cant leave the house for any reason or that have only a short period of time in a hotel then I can go and travel to them. Also if I am on tour and can’t find a premises to work from then I can get an apartment somewhere and using my equipment set up a mini dungeon. It increases my flexibility a bit more and makes kink more accessible. Although Its not something I am asked for too much because most people want to come visit me at my dungeon. It does allow me to be be a bit more creative though and makes me think a bit more dynamically and I like seeing the reactions from that. If people just always get what they have always just got then they are always going to give you the same reaction and so you will not get the surprises. I know some people like to play it safe and that’s ok but I like clients to leave there session with me and remember it and maybe think ‘that was a little different’ in a good way.
If you just want one thing in one particular way then you could really go and see anybody. What I want is clients that want to come back and see me and eventually earn themselves a tag and from there a collar.
What is the difference between a tag and a collar?
Well is a term I have coined myself, I felt that there was no in between from being owned to being collared and I thought there should be some sort of trial where you are almost collared but there are certain conditions before you are fully trusted with a collar or consideration collar. In a vanilla relationship you would meet someone, then you would date for a while and then eventually you would be looking to have a real proper commitment. I feel like tagging is the equivalent of vanilla dating, where you are still getting to know each other but you both know you want to be tied together to some degree.
- Who would you most like to work with that you haven’t had the opportunity to do so yet, or who would you love to work with again?
There are some Mistress’s I have met from going to tea parties with Mistress Absolute who I haven’t had the opportunity to work with yet but would love to and one of them would be Mistress Darcy from New York. We got on really well, she has a sharp tongue and I like that so would really like to work with her. I have also met Ava Von Medisin and she was really lovely, and what a pair of legs she has for ball kicking so I think we could destroy some balls together.
Also Miss Scarlet letter, she is more of a strict aunty or motherly figure and I really like her style. Everything she does is always from a very good place and she has very good intentions. She wants to improve the life of subs and that’s something that is quite close to my heart so would like to work with her as well.
People that I have worked with and would definitely work with again, obviously Mistress Absolute, she is fantastic to work with. Mistress Lilith is so creative and comes up with the most ridiculous plans that always seem to work and I love working with her. Obviously Mistress Sarah Jessica is awesome, I really respect her and she’s an amazing sadist and another person who truly cares about her subs and it is nice to work with people like that. Mistress Miranda has the most incredible studio I have ever seen, its so well equipped and we got on very well so she would be another.
- Where do you get your inspiration for sessions?
I think I have quite a good imagination so if someone tells me the sort of thing they enjoy then I can come up with something on the spot from that. I quite like to play games because it can make it more interesting and interactive for us both, although there are times when games are not appropriate. I like to think of the psychology as well as the physical side of things because if you can get into someones mind it’s a lot longer lasting and it builds trust and rapport. So from what they tell me I will usually come up with something on the spot, but I do have a few standard games I like to use, especially with newbies. I like to play a game called punishment bingo, where I will create a randomly numbered grid, one side will be repetitions or time periods and the other will be different punishments they think they would want to try, plus a few I will add. They will shout out numbers at random and they have to get a full house in order to win the game. There would normally be about 50 punishments in total and can get up to 30 in an hour. I have added a few twists and turns to it as well.
I can see how that would be very good at removing nerves and breaking the ice, especially with a newbie.
Yes, when they see me looking at the grid and bursting out laughing as they don’t know whats coming, it creates a bit of a connection and we have fun doing it.
- What is your favourite BDSM or Kink website/blog?
It’s probably just the shopping ones!
Although I have read a few of Sarah Jessica’s blog and she writes beautifully so will have a read of that. But the shopping or advertising sites because they help me and allow me to buy things to make me better or try something new.
And its an excuse for shopping
- If you could have one male and one female Celeb to be your sub for the day who would they be?
For a male sub it would be between Billy Connolly because I think he would be hilarious or Billy Bob Thornton because I remember reading all the sick shit he was into so he would be a fun sub. For my female sub, I’m not really sure, maybe Angelina Jolie because she is into some interesting stuff like knife play and blood so that would be fun.
- What are some of you favourite things to do away from bdsm?
I like to read, I like to just hang out with friends and I like going climbing which also lets me keep in touch with geology. I also like to cook as it relaxes me. I know its still kink related but I have also got involved with sexpression to help spread awareness and get people talking about it, spread the kinky word and let people know we are actually quite sensible folk!
JD x x