NOW! That’s what I call BDSM

You know when you have this great ‘idea’ that you get all excited about and are convinced it is your own, only to find out actually you saw a similar thing somewhere else and just forgot about it. Well I had this idea to create a blog post with a list of songs relating to kink, only to find out it had been done before. Mistress Sidonia had done a few posts on her English Mansion blog of different songs relating to different kinks and I had seen one of them a while ago but must have forgotten. By the time I had realised that’s where the idea came from I had already thought of my ‘clever’ title and made my ‘clever’ picture so it was too late to turn back! Im sure Mistress Sidonia wont mind me putting my twist of the same thing…

So to make my list the song had to reflect some part of kink whether thats femdom, crossdressing, CP etc. Also, importantly I had to like the song! (Fair to say Rihanna only just scraped in) Some of these links to kink are far more obvious than others, and some of them will probably be just how I have chosen to interpret the song, but music meanings are always a personal thing so dont expect to like or agree with all 14 songs.

I have added the artist and song title, a lyrics I think helps show why its on the list and because im extra kind I have added the video so you can have a listen and decide for yourself if you agree and especially if the less obvious ones should have have the cut.

So here is the very first NOW! That’s what I call BDSM album.

  • The Naked and Famous – Spank

‘There are specific things
That I have to do
Day to day just to keep it at bay
You wouldn’t believe it if you knew

  • Hozier – Take me to Church

‘She tells me “Worship in the bedroom”
The only heaven I’ll be sent to
Is when I’m alone with you’

  • The Offspring – I want you Bad

‘I want you 
All tattooed
I want you bad
Complete me
Mistreat me
Want you to be bad

  • The kinks – Lola

‘Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
It’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola’

  • Depeche Mode – Master and servent

‘Domination’s the name of the game
In bed or in life
They’re both just the same
Except in one you’re fulfilled
At the end of the

  • Velvet Underground – Venus in Furs

‘Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather
Shiny leather in the dark
Tongue of thongs, the belt that does await you
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart’

  • Blur – Girls and Boys

‘Girls who are boys
Who like boys to be girls
Who do boys like they’re girls
Who do girls like they’re boys’

  • Madona – Erotica

‘Once you put your hand in the flame
You can never be the same
There’s a certain satisfaction
In a little bit of pain’

  • Nina Simone – I put a Spell on You

‘I put a spell on you
Because you’re mine
You’re mine’

  • Goldfrapp – Strict Machine

‘I get high on a buzz, then a rush
When I’m plugged in u
I connect when I’m flush
U get love when told what to do’

  • Soft Cell – Sex Dwarf

‘I would like you on a long black leash
You can bring me all the things I need’

  • Rihanna – S&M

‘Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But chains and whips
Excite me’

  • NIN – Closer

‘You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you’

  • Elbow – An Audience with the pope

‘I have an audience with the Pope
And I’m saving the world at eight
But if she says she needs me, she says she needs me
Everybody’s going to have to wait’

If you have reached this far and are thinking ‘how the hell is this song not on the list’ feel free to add a comment and let me know which songs should have been included.

JD x x

Happy Easter.

Keeping with ‘tradition’ as it is Easter that means only one thing, a badly (this year I would go as far as saying very badly) edited picture of myself with some bunny ears added!

Happy Easter

So all that leaves me to do is to say remember there is no such thing as too much chocolate and to wish everyone a happy Easter and hope everyone enjoys the long weekend!

JD x x

Interview with Mistress Cara Sutra

It is with great pleasure that I am able to post my latest interview on my blog and I am very happy to be able to say it is with Mistress Cara Sutra. For those of you that don’t know Cara Sutra, she is lifestyle Domme but also a hugely popular blogger, sex toy reviewer, writer, product developer and multiple award winner.

I have been reading her blog since I began blogging and its not just the excellent and well written blog posts that keeps me going back for more but it is the varitey of topics and types of post that I really enjoy reading. If you have not seen the blog I couldn’t recommend it enough, infact you can find Cara Sutra’s blog here so go and have a look right now!

As always I hope you enjoy the read and a huge thank you to Mistress Cara Sutra for allowing me to do the interview.

  • How did you first get into the world of kink, is it something that was always an interest?

It’s always been an interest, even before I really knew what it was. I was being nosy at my grandmother’s house as a young child and found a lot of shiny clothes, chains and things I didn’t recognise in her wardrobe, along with some mail order catalogues for the same sort of items. I had no idea why she had such different looking clothing and accessories in her wardrobe but something about it appealed.
In my late teens I left home and moved country, living in Ireland for a few years. There, away from family and other pressures, I was free to explore what I really wanted in life, sex and relationships. Going to mainstream clubs turned into going to fetish clubs, and my first ‘in’ to the scene was as a Pro-Domme after being requested to Dominate some men. I guess natural Dominance shines through. This never felt quite right for me though and it took many years before I learned about Lifestyle Domination and exactly who and what I was. It took longer still to realise that just because I enjoy bondage it doesn’t lessen my Dominant nature in any way, it just means I have a wide range of interests.

  • Have you ever considered going down the line of being a Pro Domme. if so what has stopped you?

I have and I did. It’s something I returned to about 8-9 years ago but have since resigned from. I’m not a Pro-Domme. I returned to it after being thoroughly fed up with the amount of time wasters and losers that approached me, reasoning that if I was going to spend time talking to those types I may as well get paid for my time and any actions that I visit upon them. It doesn’t feel very nice to me though and I don’t like to feel as though my Dominance is paid for by the hour or session.
That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with Pro Domination, it’s just not my personal calling. I have my Pro Domme friends and I really admire and respect them for earning a living in this way. They must have absolutely unbounded patience!
After my return to Pro 8-9 years ago I soon left it again, for the last time. It’s not for me. I can’t Dominate naturally in return for money per hour or session. I earn my income through my separate businesses (adult writer and marketer, and product developer) and enjoy Lifestyle Domination without any pressure or obligations.

  • What is your favourite thing about being Domme?

When I find a slave who (almost) matches my intelligence, creativity, perversion and corresponding need for fulfilment in a D/s relationship. Having an exciting muse. Also, plenty of sexy high heels coming to the door on a regular basis doesn’t hurt.

  • I read that you only see subs that are older than 30, why is that?

I’ve spoken to thousands of submissive men in my time and I have never spoken to one under the age of 30 who is mature enough or experienced enough in life to really fulfil what i want from a sub. It takes a while for the male ego and pride in youth to be quelled into the realisation of what submission is, the importance of and ways to please a Mistress, and that it’s not all about their penis and how to excite it. As shocking as that may be.

  • Are you looking for a submissive at the moment? Do you have live in submissives?

I don’t look for submissives, they look for me.

My longest serving slave was live-in but he annoyed me so much I threw him out last spring. He bought a house across the road.

  • Other than real time how can a submissive serve you? Do you do anything other than real time?

Any submissive can serve by being useful to my life. I mean actually useful, not talking about ‘I can entertain you on webcam’ or ‘I can write your name on my penis’. Things that are helpful to ME. Write me fantastic content I can put on my websites. Offer your skills and services such as accounting, business acumen or referrals. Be a taxi service. Buy my groceries. Pay my credit card. That type of thing and a lot more.

Some of these will need to be done face to face, others can be done from afar. It all depends how much the so-called submissive actually wants to serve me and how much they trust that this will be a two-way street. Be what I want and I will give you what you want. Eventually.

So yes – distance service is possible but I would always want to work towards a point where we can at least meet up. These boots won’t lick themselves clean.

  • I know that you have more than one website, where can people find these?

My Mistress website is at MistressCaraSutra.co.uk.

My day-to-day business is run from the award winning mainstream sexuality website CaraSutra.co.uk.

  • Do you have a favourite piece of equipment/favourite toy?

My favourite fetish accessory to use on a submissive is a long tailed flogger. Such versatility and the luxurious types are so beautifully weighted.

My favourite sex toys are the Doxy Massager and the iGino One – this was covered in the Daily Mail piece about me last year.

  • What is your favourite fetish outfit to wear?

I find PVC is easy and comfortable to wear, but leather is supremely gorgeous. I’m very traditional like that.
I don’t wear latex much, it’s hot, difficult to get into and keep shiny and makes me feel somewhat like a black pudding.

  • What is your favourite type of play during a session, or favourite activities?

I love male chastity, boot and heel worship, foot worship, flogging and corporal punishment, humiliation (public, verbal or both) and cuckoldry.

  • What are the best qualities you look for in a sub?

Intelligence, creativity, devotion, honesty, obedience, submission.

  • If you could give one piece of advice to a sub what would it be?

To honestly answer this question: What are you serving, the Mistress or your fantasies? Once you’ve gone away and worked it out, get back to me.

  • What are the top 3 mistakes you find a sub makes with you?

They think it’s all about what they want.
They lie.
They underestimate me.

  • How do you prepare for a session or a scene to get into Domme headspace? Do you have to?

Being Dominant is a natural part of me. I’ve lived with my slave for years in the past. It’s something that’s always there, just tempered for the situation and perhaps family or vanillas around. If I have an actual session taking place then I may muse over the order of events and what I want to do, but other than that I don’t have to ‘get into’ a Dominant frame of mind. It’s just part of me.

  • Do you have a different approach to male/female subs? Do you see female subs?cd?

Yes. I find that women submit very differently, if at all, It’s much more sexual based (actively sexual rather than the denial of it). Female submissives tend to merge into female lovers. Male submissives are moulded into chaste, cuckolded slaves who are lucky to even get to kiss my boots or a gloved hand.

I’m not interested in cross dressing submissives or sissies, I have found that this submission tends to be simply dressing up while wanting a female audience and it’s not about me, it’s about them. Not my kink.

  • I know you have a big interest in chastity, what is it about chastity that you like?

The penis and balls are central to the man’s ego and pride. Our culture is very phallo-centric, with sexual references in the media crafted to interest the penis or have sex relating to it in some way. Sex sells, after all. Alpha males derive pride from their cock and what they do with it.  Removing the ability to even touch their own penis for pleasure never mind fuck with it is a great source of pleasure to me, because it forces the submissive to act in a different way. I find a chaste male acts more deferentially to me, is quick to respond and eager to please. With this penis pride out of the way we can get to what is really important, pleasing me in other ways than with their cock, which I have no interest in on submissive men. Of course their locked cock is torment for them, which I enjoy teasing about and taking advantage of by taunting with keys and cuckoldry whether with them present or simply telling them about my sex life.

A man in chastity is more focussed on me and keeping me happy.

  • I’m a big fan of your blog, what made you start blogging? How long have you been doing the blog?

Depends which one you mean! My Mistress website has not been running as long as CaraSutra.co.uk. I started blogging originally to share my sexual antics and reviews of sex toys. That was approximately 8 years ago, to my memory.

  • Where do you get your inspiration for sessions?

Apart from my own imagination, my muses are my slaves and their weaknesses. I also read a lot of erotic fiction and the fantasies that chastity often evokes in my submissives. It’s a snowball effect of sexual denial and torment for them, which feeds my cruelty and therefore my imagination. I also just like getting a good thorough boot licking and then doling out some hefty punishment on their backside which leaves marks for weeks.

  • What is your favourite BDSM or Kink website/blog?

I don’t have one. I find Fetlife is useful for community but it has its share of problem members, fantasists and timewasters. YourDominatrix is great and I love UberKinky for their products and their blog.

  • If you could have one male and one female celeb to be your sub for the day who would they be?

Do they have to be real people? I’d love to lock Christian Grey in a chastity device, beat his ass black and blue then shove jiggle balls where the sun doesn’t shine.
If we’re talking real people, then Richard Branson so I could co-own Necker Island (swoon) and Helen George from Call the Midwife because she’s pretty, blonde and makes parts of me melt in delicious ways.

  • What are some of your favourite things to do away from BDSM?

I’m a sexual health and pleasure columnist as well as a sex toy tester. I have a family; male partner who is also Dominant as well as two sons. I love shopping, the theatre, wining and dining and I have a pretty serious hotel fetish. I enjoy photography, reading, late night alcohol-induced philosophy and leaving my fisting dildo hanging out of the duvet for my cleaner to find.

JD x x

30 facts about me

I know what you were thinking, wouldn’t it be great if you could see a list of random facts about my dressing, my kink and every day things all nicely listed in a blog post, well good news, thats exactly what I have gone and done!

For those that know me a lot of these will not be a surprise but I dont think anyone knew all of these before so hopefully you find it mixture of both random and interesting things about yours truly.

30 Facts About Me (I know there is 31, but thats because one of them isnt actually a fact about me)

  1. I Didn’t get my first pair of heels and wig till I was 23 and I still have them both.

  1. I’m addicted to coke a cola

  1. I have never been in a relationship for longer than a year.

  1. I really don’t like it when someone refers to me as a ‘sissy’.

  1. I absolutely love thunder storms and will always stay up to watch them at night, especially if by the sea.

  1. If I have met someone and they know me in ‘boy mode’ then I don’t actually like being called jess when not dressed up.

  1. I’m a scientist in my day job.

  1. I still rarely get fully dressed up, on average its about twice a month.

  1. I have never been head over heels in love.

  1. I can juggle.

  1. My favourite three kinks in no particular order are rope, bondage and spanking.

  1. It took me about 6 months before I started to enjoy blogging, however,  not surprisingly now I am a big fan.

  1. I don’t like tomato ketchup.

  1. I am a sucker for a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.

  1. I’m 28.

  1. I am a big football fan and support Manchester United.

  1. I think star signs and horror scopes are just ridiculous, I don’t understand why anyone takes any notice of them.

  1. My favourite fruit is an orange but I will often have something else because peeling all that white crap off is a pain in the arse!

  1. I still find it strange that some people know me only as Jess!

  1. If I was to have one saying about how I have gone about exploring kink then it would be ‘If you don’t ask, you don’t get’.

  1. All but one of these facts are true….

  1. I have quite a few fantasies about spanking and tying up other people. I have actually given it a go and did really enjoy it.

  1. I am in no way superstitious, but my favourite number is number 11 (bonus points if you can work out why)

  1. I consider myself to have very good taste in music but I have a huge soft spot for Taylor swift.

  1. I really like being in front of the camera when dressed up but in ‘boy mode’ I will actively shy away from it.

  1. My favourite type of film or TV programme involves an end of the world apocalypse type thing, ideally zombie related.

  1. I still struggle with a lot of self confidence issues around dressing and how I look. Its something that crosses my mind almost every time I get dressed up.

  1. 90% of my blogging is done in the early hours of the morning.

  1. If I was to go to the pub for one drink (or you wanted to order me a drink) then it would be a Ale, most probably an IPA. If I was out for the whole night then my drink of choice would be Gin.

  1. My favourite country in the world is New Zealand and I have spend a total of 8 months there.

  1. I’m slightly scared of foxes.

JD x x

Interview with Megara Furie

Im very pleased to be able to post my latest interview on my blog with a Domme I have known about since getting into kink but never had the opportunity to chat to until recently, and that Domme is none other that Megara Furie. Incase people don’t know Megara Furie is a professional Domme based in Scotland in Glasgow and works from her own Dungeon/studio but also travels both within the UK and abroad. It was a real pleasure being able to do this interview and for me what stood out so much was her love for what she does and how passionate she is about kink, it really is infectious! I was a big fan of Megara Furie form afar before doing this interview but now I have been able to chat with her for a little while, I am even more of a fan, she is a passionate, stunning, talented Domme that truly loves what she does, what more could a sub ask for.

So a huge thank you goes out to Megara for doing this with me and I hope you all enjoy the read.

  • How did you first get into the world of kink, is it something that was always an interest?

I have always been interested in it and have always liked the alternative scene. When I was young I was very into the vampire and goth thing and I guess with the vampire thing there is a power thing there, females biting males and enticing them in, using that against them. I always thought that was very cool, I wanted to be that powerful, to have that power over guys.

I have never been a vanilla person, that just didn’t make sense to me. Then when I first started experimenting and getting interested in sex, I can remember wanting to tie up my boyfriends. I was living with a guy for about four years and I remember experimenting together but I didn’t know that these things had names, it was just normal for us. One night we were sitting watching tv and I turned to him and said I don’t know where this is coming from but I want to pee on you and he just said “yeah ok, you can pee on me then.” The next time we had sex I told him to get in the bath and we did just that and it was exhilarating knowing that he was beneath me and was willing to do this for me. That sort of sparked my interest and we experimented with toys and a few things from there. I realised I did have a power and a control over him and I liked it, we didn’t have a formal discussion about it, it was very organic and we just sort of fell into our roles with me being in control. I have never been a vanilla person.

  • ·How did you first get in being a Pro Domme, was it something that you always wanted to try, did it happen quite quickly after getting into kink?

After things finished with that boyfriend I then decided to go and dance as a stripper and again that fed the whole power dynamic. Although people talk about strippers or lap dancers as being exploited or they get a bad name for it, the reality is very different. We would sit in the changing rooms and talk about the guys down stairs and maybe if I have taken a few dances off a guy but I know he has xyz in his wallet, or if a guy came in asking for sex we would go over and absolutely wind him up, take his money off his and then just leave him rinsed and alone at the end of the night, we were exploiting them. I love knowing I have someone right around my little finger. I wasn’t in it for attention or any drug problems or anything, I did it because I enjoyed it, I was fucking good at it and I loved the power struggle. I knew how to get what I wanted from guys.

It was an opportunity to make money, most of my dances were VIPs so I was guaranteed £200 for an hour. What I noticed after a while was that I tended to get guys that wanted something alternative off me. I had a guy that wanted to just see me take my shoes on and off and I would charge him more for that because he knew no one else in that club would do it. I used to remind him of that and get into his head about it, he became one of my regulars. I had another guy and all he wanted me to do was knee him in the balls for two hours, so I would still be dancing because of the cameras but every time I turned a certain way I would slam a knee or a foot into his balls, I think I even head butted him once.

One night I was speaking this a guy and there was someone on stage getting whipped or spanked, I said to the guy something about how I would love to do that for a living and he told me there was a Domme looking for someone to train so he gave me her details and I got in contact and she took me on. Within a few months I was so busy I gave up dancing all together.

Did you know much about the BDSM world when you first went to see the Domme?

Only what I had done in my personal life but she took me under her wing and showed me things that filled in the gaps, she knew I was quite imaginative and after one session she told me I would be just fine.

Whats her name, is she still working as a Domme?

Mistress Lilith, yes she still is, she is in Glasgow. She is excellent!

Then after about one year I set up my own place and it has taken about three years for me to be happy with the place and I’m still continuously adding to it. I’m just about to add an extra room which means it will have two play spaces, one will be quite light and more geared towards softer play and role-play. The other will be the room with the suspension and the more hardcore things like the bondage and the CP stuff.

To get your own place after a year seems very quick

I knew that I loved what I was doing and that I could travel with it but I also knew the responsibilities it came with like doing my taxes and all the admin, advertising etc, I’m a very organised person.

  • What is your favourite thing about being a pro Domme?

It’s peoples reactions, it doesn’t matter so much what activity I’m doing with a person as long as they are reacting to me and I can see I am having a positive reaction with them and that’s what drives me. That is what gets me through doing the admin and the accounts and the advertising. Doing all these things means I can get sessions in, create an imaginative session for someone then watch their reactions, I get a buzz out of that.

I know for some people coming to see me could be a massive stress relief or the only time they can let someone just take over, its almost like they can have a holiday in their own heads which is great to see. I like to build relationships with people as well and I generally see people more than once, they do tend to come back.

That’s always a good sign.

Yes, everything builds and gets better as that relationship builds.

  • What was your worst/best previous job before being a Domme?

I have never had a bad job, oh actually yes I have. I worked for all of two weeks in a chip shop and the women that worked there was a rude, obnoxious, vile person and her hygiene was disgusting. She had me in the back working, which I don’t mind because cooking is one thing that relaxes me. She used to walk in wearing flip flop sandals and had this athlete foot thing which she was constantly itching and then she would touch the food and it used to infuriate me! She would also speak to me in such a bad way, one day I was 5 mins late because of my bus and I had rang in to let them know but don’t think the message got passed on. When I arrived she told me she was docking me an hour and I basically told her “no, you’re not” and told her to shove her job up her arse, threw my apron down and just walked out. I hated that place.

Worse job but a great way to leave.

Spectacular fashion, as always.

My best job is hard to pick, I absolutely adored being a dancer, I would walk into work and be told how beautiful I was. Then I would leave at the end of the night with money in my purse. I also traveled with it and was able to dance in other countries, it got me used to the lifestyle I can enjoy now.

  • How can a submissive contact you to arrange a session?

They can either call or email because that’s polite. There is a contact form on both of my websites and I do not take requests via twitter or Facebook, I like to speak to someone on the phone so I can get a feel for them and have a chat about what they are into, and I think hearing each others voices builds an initial connection. I find a lot of the people that try via twitter or Facebook are time wasters as well, they obviously haven’t taken the time to go to my website and read my protocol section, it’s disrespectful. You would think they would value themselves a little bit more by doing a little bit of research on who they were coming to see.

I have heard a lot of stories about guys that have been to see ‘pop up’ Dommes who maybe have heard about the scene recently because its been more published in the media and think I could do that, but they have not had any training. They think it’s just about yelling at someone, beating them up and taking money off them – it’s really not, it’s a far more sophisticated art than that. If it was that easy then everyone would be doing it. You have to give a shit about what you are doing and who you are seeing and also one thing you can not ever be is a man hater and still be successful at this job – I am such a strong believer in that. This requires a genuine understanding of guys and a concern for their safety. If you are a man hater you are not going to want to even try to give them the best session they can have when they come to see you and a bad first session could put someone off the whole thing for life.

  • What can a client expect from you in their first session?

It depends what they ask for. Depends on how much we have spoken before hand, but I tend to go semi light on them so I can judge their reactions and then see if we can push some boundaries. If we can push some boundaries in the first session then by all means I will, but the first session is more about it being the first real opportunity to build trust with that person. I like to start with a chat and as it’s not a strict revolving door policy with me, there is always time before and time after to have a chat or for some after care. It’s really about getting to know that person.

There is one thing I will teach every single sub when they arrive and it’s called a four point count. It’s four positions numbered 1-4 which I expect a sub to be able to get into without me explaining it every single time. It sets the first bit of protocol for them to follow but I also like to have a bit of fun with it as well.

So, basically, I like to have a chat with them and build some trust then show them the four point count and then always have a chat at the end to find out what went well, if there was anything I could do to make it better and what expectations they might have for the next time they come and visit.

  • Other that real time how can a submissive serve you? Do you do anything other than real time?

I am a massive real time person, I’m a real touchy feely person. I like being able to see someone in the flesh. I don’t see the point of being on webcam and someone asking for something like foot worship – you can’t feel them, touch them or smell them, I just feel a bit silly doing that. I would much rather they come and see me. I don’t do phone either because I could be telling someone to do something but how can I monitor that if just on the phone?

The only thing I actually do is some domination through twitter, where I will set a sub a task and they will go off and do it and we play a bit off their reactions and there is a bit of banter. I have this sub and I know when he is being cheeky he really wants to be FinDommed and to be told that for his cheek he should go and buy this or that. I have actually made up his very own Wish list that only he can see, it’s called his fuck up list. Every time he is cheeky it’s his saving grace, I have a stern word with him and he goes straight to the list and that’s really his payment for the session. He is very generous and very kind with it, if I’m honest I am not really one for FinDomme and don’t like to just take money without working for it. So I give him the tasks and he has his list and he can decide what items from the list to get depending on the appropriate level of apology. He is extremely good and he is making an effort to come over to Scotland to see me, so I can’t complain.

That is the main reason I could see cam as something that could work, if they are a long away from you

I do tour so they should get into contact with me and ask if there is any chance I could visit their country and once I know there is interest then I start doing research and put the feelers out and see if I can get any more sessions and if I can make it worth my while. I do tend to charge a bit extra to cover extra costs like hotels and hiring a dungeon etc. I have been extremely lucky with travel I have been to New York, LA, Dominican republic, Barcelona, Germany, Poland. It’s great, I love the fact that I am able to travel.

  • Are you looking for a personal sub?

I have personal subs, not personal as in intimate but personal as in they do jobs for me and it’s not a paid basis, but they will gift me. They get to work quite closely with me but these are subs I have had for a long time. I would never allow or even entertain the idea of a personal sub that I hadn’t known for at least a year and even then it would be on a trial basis because you are letting them into your personal life. I couldn’t consider collaring someone before then.

Its a big commitment from both I think.

It is a massive thing for them and it’s obviously a massive thing for me. They are committing to see me and only me, you wouldn’t ask someone to be in a serious relationship or ask them to marry after only a month of knowing them. You need to get to know them and find out what their strengths are and what their faults are etc and then you can start to really connect.

  • What’s your personal website and which others do you use?

I have two personal sites and I also use instrgram, twitter and Facebook. I do have a Fetlife profile but hardly ever use it, I would do so if they had an app for it though.

http://www.mistressglasgow.co.uk/

http://www.mistressmegara.com/

Instagram @mistressglasgow

Twitter @megarafurie

Facebook Megara Furie

Fetlife megarafurie

  •  Do you have a favourite piece of equipment/favourite toy?

I would say my favourite toy would be the tawse, I love that something so unassuming can cause so much pain. I also love playing with rope as well. I always find when I’m tying someone I feel very relaxed. I sort of get lost in time and I like making it look all pretty. It’s very imitate.

  • What is your favourite fetish outfit to wear?

It depends on what I’m doing. I’m a big fan of office wear because I’m comfortable in it, a nice skirt and a shirt with possibly a corset over it. I do also love latex but it can be so time consuming to get it on and off. That can sometimes put me off.

  • What is your favourite type of play during a session, or favourite
    activities?

I’m a massive reaction person, for example I am a massive fan of ball busting, but if I am kicking someone in the balls and they are just pan faced then it removes all the enjoyment for me. However one thing I had hardly ever be bothered with is trampling as it just bores me so much, but if I am doing some trampling with someone and they are really into it and they are giving me feedback and there are reactions there, then it can become the best session in the world. Its all about feeding off the other person and in turn them feeding off of you.

I also like to role-play but I have done some role-plays where someone has given this whole detailed scenario which I have done my best to get my teeth into. I will look the part and will set the scene and remember all the little pointers, because sometimes it can be the little triggers that excites them and if you leave that out it could ruin the whole session. Then they turn up and they just seem to hold back with me and I’m role-playing by myself. That’s the whole reaction thing, I need the reactions from them to make it a great role-play.

  • What are the best qualities you look for in a sub?

Qualities in a sub I look for are manners, you don’t have to be anything special just have genuine common sense and use manners that you would use on a day to day basis to show that you are not a dick of a human being. I am courteous and kind and that is what I expect a sub to be as well. They should just be courteous, polite – everything else can be trained, as long as they are open and receptive to learning. The other important thing is that they need to show up for sessions both physically and mentally and be ready to let themselves go and give me the reactions that I’m looking for, do that and then everyone will be happy.

  • If you could give one piece of advice to a sub what would it be?

Do your research because that is the first stage where things could go wrong. Doing your research minimises the chance of coming into contact with someone that isn’t a true professional. You are putting your body into someone else’s hands so you need to make sure it is the right person. Find out what they are into, how they treat subs, check if they have twitter or a website, have a look if it is well written, does it look professional etc. Check what services they offer, is it what you would expect from a Domme? Are they actually a Domme or an escort with a whip? The analogy I tend to use is the difference between a hooker and a Domme is the difference between a car salesman and a mechanic, we both deal with roughly the same thing, one is highly skilled while the other gets fucked in the arse occasionally

The luxury of researching a Domme is there is normally a vast amount of information out there about the person, if there isn’t then find someone else.

  • What are the top 3 mistakes you find a sub makes with you?

Inappropriate first contact, it could be a text or through twitter or at a ridiculous time of day, or written in text speak or they call me babe. Any of those things mean you get eliminated. Also giving me a list of your vital statistics makes no fucking difference, it is a session not a date.

Another is over familiarity, I am quite a jokey person and I like to put people at ease but there is a line that they should not cross. Recently I had a sub call me mate and I had to stop him and tell him yes we have a connection but it is a strictly Domme sub connection, I am not your mate.

My third would be asking me out, we might have a laugh and get on like a house on fire and have a real connection during a session but that is where it ends. I care about their well being, I do want to see them again but only on that professional basis. It has to remain professional, just don’t do it, asking me is just embarrassing and awkward for everyone.

  • Do you have a different approach to male/female subs? Do you see female subs or crossdressers?

I don’t generally see female subs but I think if I did they are much more emotional creatures so you have to be more delicate where emotions are concerned. I do believe that women have a much higher pain threshold though, women are intrinsically strong and I do have a lot of respect for women that choose to sub. I think women will be able to lose themselves a lot easier because we are used to being able to express our emotions.

And how about crossdressers?

I treat everyone on an individual basis so it really just depends what they are coming to me for. There is no off the rack session – everyone is different.

  • What made you pick the name Megara Furie, where does the name come from?

Megara Furie comes from Greek mythology, there were three Erinnyes which were formed from drops of blood from Uranus and send down to Earth to basically find men that had done wrong in their lives and punish them accordingly. They didn’t kill them but caused them so much pain and suffering that they would try to kill themselves. There were three Furie sisters, Megara, Alecto and Tisiphone. I chose Megara because I wanted alliteration in name with Mistress Megara. If you have ever seen the Disney Hercules film then Megara Furie is in that as well, she is the sassy one!

Is it true that you don’t like being called Mistress and much prefer Megara Furie?

When I first started I had people calling me Mistress and I hated it, it made me feel old. I told everyone to call me Megara rather than Mistress so yes that is very true.

  • Your ‘Port-a-Domme’ looks like a very exciting idea, how does that work and could you give some examples of the sort of thing you have done with it?

I generally only do this with people I have seen before but I have equipment that folds away and can put into my car so if I have any clients who cant leave the house for any reason or that have only a short period of time in a hotel then I can go and travel to them. Also if I am on tour and can’t find a premises to work from then I can get an apartment somewhere and using my equipment set up a mini dungeon. It increases my flexibility a bit more and makes kink more accessible. Although Its not something I am asked for too much because most people want to come visit me at my dungeon. It does allow me to be be a bit more creative though and makes me think a bit more dynamically and I like seeing the reactions from that. If people just always get what they have always just got then they are always going to give you the same reaction and so you will not get the surprises. I know some people like to play it safe and that’s ok but I like clients to leave there session with me and remember it and maybe think ‘that was a little different’ in a good way.

If you just want one thing in one particular way then you could really go and see anybody. What I want is clients that want to come back and see me and eventually earn themselves a tag and from there a collar.

What is the difference between a tag and a collar?

Well is a term I have coined myself, I felt that there was no in between from being owned to being collared and I thought there should be some sort of trial where you are almost collared but there are certain conditions before you are fully trusted with a collar or consideration collar. In a vanilla relationship you would meet someone, then you would date for a while and then eventually you would be looking to have a real proper commitment. I feel like tagging is the equivalent of vanilla dating, where you are still getting to know each other but you both know you want to be tied together to some degree.

  • Who would you most like to work with that you haven’t had the opportunity to do so yet, or who would you love to work with again?

There are some Mistress’s I have met from going to tea parties with Mistress Absolute who I haven’t had the opportunity to work with yet but would love to and one of them would be Mistress Darcy from New York. We got on really well, she has a sharp tongue and I like that so would really like to work with her. I have also met Ava Von Medisin and she was really lovely, and what a pair of legs she has for ball kicking so I think we could destroy some balls together.

Also Miss Scarlet letter, she is more of a strict aunty or motherly figure and I really like her style. Everything she does is always from a very good place and she has very good intentions. She wants to improve the life of subs and that’s something that is quite close to my heart so would like to work with her as well.

People that I have worked with and would definitely work with again, obviously Mistress Absolute, she is fantastic to work with. Mistress Lilith is so creative and comes up with the most ridiculous plans that always seem to work and I love working with her. Obviously Mistress Sarah Jessica is awesome, I really respect her and she’s an amazing sadist and another person who truly cares about her subs and it is nice to work with people like that. Mistress Miranda has the most incredible studio I have ever seen, its so well equipped and we got on very well so she would be another.

  • Where do you get your inspiration for sessions?

I think I have quite a good imagination so if someone tells me the sort of thing they enjoy then I can come up with something on the spot from that. I quite like to play games because it can make it more interesting and interactive for us both, although there are times when games are not appropriate. I like to think of the psychology as well as the physical side of things because if you can get into someones mind it’s a lot longer lasting and it builds trust and rapport. So from what they tell me I will usually come up with something on the spot, but I do have a few standard games I like to use, especially with newbies. I like to play a game called punishment bingo, where I will create a randomly numbered grid, one side will be repetitions or time periods and the other will be different punishments they think they would want to try, plus a few I will add. They will shout out numbers at random and they have to get a full house in order to win the game. There would normally be about 50 punishments in total and can get up to 30 in an hour. I have added a few twists and turns to it as well.

I can see how that would be very good at removing nerves and breaking the ice, especially with a newbie.

Yes, when they see me looking at the grid and bursting out laughing as they don’t know whats coming, it creates a bit of a connection and we have fun doing it.

  • What is your favourite BDSM or Kink website/blog?

It’s probably just the shopping ones!

Although I have read a few of Sarah Jessica’s blog and she writes beautifully so will have a read of that. But the shopping or advertising sites because they help me and allow me to buy things to make me better or try something new.

And its an excuse for shopping

Absolutely.

  • If you could have one male and one female Celeb to be your sub for the day who would they be?

For a male sub it would be between Billy Connolly because I think he would be hilarious or Billy Bob Thornton because I remember reading all the sick shit he was into so he would be a fun sub. For my female sub, I’m not really sure, maybe Angelina Jolie because she is into some interesting stuff like knife play and blood so that would be fun.

  • What are some of you favourite things to do away from bdsm?

I like to read, I like to just hang out with friends and I like going climbing which also lets me keep in touch with geology. I also like to cook as it relaxes me. I know its still kink related but I have also got involved with sexpression to help spread awareness and get people talking about it, spread the kinky word and let people know we are actually quite sensible folk!

JD x x

Visit to Dungeon Manor

Last week I was lucky enough to head over to spend two days at the wonderful Dungeon Manor. Now for those of you that dont know, Dungeon Manor is the residence of both Mistress Evilyne and Governess Ely and for want of a better word its like a kinky playground full of all sorts of toys and equipment. My visit was for two fold really, it was really visiting to be able to have a catch up with Ely as it had been too long since we had seen each other but also I was to do some filming with both Ely and Mistress Evilyne.

Dungeon Manor filmingI had been planning to go visit Ely for a while and for one reason or another it hadnt happened so with me having a week off work there were no excuses so headed over to stay for two nights. Ely asked me if I wanted to do abit of filming while I was there which I was of course more than happy to do for many reasons. One because Ely asked and I will always be happy to do filming with Ely, its always a lot of fun. Two because it would mean being able to film with Mistress Evilyne which was exciting in its own right, and three because lets face it, I’m abit of an attention whore and love being in front of the camera!

So I arrived to be greeted by a big hug from Ely and invited in to Dungeon Manor and given a quick tour round. Now you know you are in a FemDom house when one of the first things you see when entering the house is a naked guy with chains and a collar on, the guy turned out to be a sub called clumsy who was just about to do some filming with Mistress Evilyne and was a very nice guy. Everyone else was was out in one of the back rooms and were stopping for lunch when I arrived (perfect timing) so me and Ely walked in and I said hello to everyone. There was a little bit of a shocked look from Mistress Evilyne that I was actually Jessica Dee because I was very much in casual ‘Boy mode’ when I arrived. I definitely wasnt recognised straight away and she even showed the the camera man a pic of me as Jess to show the stark difference, and I think he was surprised as well but I reassured everyone it was me! This isn’t the first time I have had this sort of reaction and I really dont mind it but I never really know what to say when I have it, think I went for something along the lines of the slightly awkward ‘yeah, I scrub up ok every now and then’. I do actually like getting this reaction though as the whole point of me dressing it to look as feminine as possible so for it to be difficult to recognise me in ‘boy mode’, I take it as a compliment.

After food it was decided I would be pretty much in just lingerie for the filming and I showed Ely what I had with me and we picked an all white ‘innocent’ look so I got changed and then Ely started on my make up. I do really enjoy having my make up done but as usual it does take a while (takes a long time to make this face look pretty!) and I was the last to be ready which is pretty much normal now! Ely did an amazing job on my make up and I was really happy with how it looked once she was done, and then it was on to the filming.

Dungeon Manor filming 2The filming itself lasted probably almost an hour and half and was so much fun! There was spankings from both Ely and Evilyne, both with bare hands and a few other implements. There was lots of Rope (mmmmmmm rope), and there was a little bit of cigarette/ash tray play. Also there was bondage and there was foot worship, stocking worship and chastity teasing. With the exception of the ash tray stuff these are all amoungst my favourties so I was having a huge amount of fun. My favourite part of the filming was actually something we did right at the start and it involved me making a cup of tea for Governess Ely and Mistress Evilyne, I know that doesn’t sound too kinky or that exciting really but bare with me and I will explain.

The idea was taken out of a scene from a film which I love called Secretary and if you havnt seen it then I strongly recommend you do, its 100 times better than 50 shades of grey, but thats a whole other debate I’m not getting into! To cut a long story short, in the film Maggie Gyllenhaal becomes the submissive of her boss and in this particular scene she is carrying out jobs while wearing a bondage device that is a spreader bar attached to a collar and also attached to both hands, one the the jobs she does is making a coffee while wearing it, so that is what I had to do (except replace the coffee with tea). Maggie Gyllenhaal makes it look very easy on camera which if you do get round to watching the clip once its released you will see that I unfortunately dont! I have always loved bondage though and this was no exception, it was a lot of fun and even though making the tea was not easy I got there in the end!

The rest of my time there was filled with take away, cards against humanity, films, cake and most of all catching up with Ely. A great couple of days and great to see Ely again and a real pleasure to meet and film with Mistress Evilyne. I’m looking forward to returning to Dungeon Manor soon!

JD x x

Happy Third Birthday Blog

Once again it has come round so quickly that it has come as a little bit of a surprise but the blog is another year older. I have been doing this blog for three years now, that just sounds a little weird saying that!

Birthday CupcakeThis last year has been another exciting year with a mixture of periods of lots of fun, but also much quieter times as well. I have be able to do some more filming, been to a couple of nights out and met some amazing people along the way and made some new friends.

I think the biggest addition to the blog this year has been the interviews I have done with some incredible Dommes. It was an idea I had a little while ago and had always thought it was would a hugely interesting thing for both me and for others reading it. Its something I personal really enjoy doing and I feel im learning a lot being able to chat to some of the best, most experienced people in the world of FemDom, but without a doubt  its something I have learnt to do as I go! Judging by the comments I have been receiving though lots of others are enjoying reading them just as much as I am enjoying writing them, so thank you for them!

So the (hopefully) good news is that I have no plans of stopping at three years! I hope there will be more filming and more pics, more going out to clubs, more meeting new people, more experiencing new and exciting things and more interviews coming in year number 4. There is no getting rid of me that easily!

Here is to another exciting and fun filled year.

JD x x